Friday, May 30, 2008

Carol Burnett and Robin Williams -The Funeral

Harvey Korman died. I like to think that he would appreciate this as a tribute to him. All around brilliant comedian.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Today's Mood Is...

After all these years, Darkseid finally discovered that the Anti-Life Equation was in the secret recipes for McRibs and Shamrock shakes.

The world trembled at his feet until the one man who could save them came to begin the Final Battle...

"Have it MY way, BITCH!!!!!!"

Friday, May 09, 2008

Today's Mood Is...

Yes, it is time for another one of those blogs railing about poor customer service. Oh, the originality........
So last week Wifey and I decided to switch our phone service from Cavalier to Vonage. We figured we would take advantage of our DSL to add free long distance and the like. Everything was going swimmingly until Tuesday when our Internets suddenly stopped working.
Well, you friendly, neighborhood BSR called Cavalier's award winning customer service (if they gave out awards for Maximum Shitty-osity!) and proceeded to get the run around for almost 3 hours on Wednesday. After MUCH hand ringing and hair pulling and muttering under my breath while on hold, I got someone to ACTUALLY LOOK at the problem, and they said "Oh, wait. We screwed up. We will have this fixed by tomorrow. Here's a reference number for the repair (or as they call it "trouble") ticket. Finally, problem solved...
Until about 3 hours later when we got a call back saying that the problem is not only not solved, but that there is a brand new problem and that we will be without Internets services for about 2 weeks.
That would be more than a little inconvenient. But since our phone service would now be dependant on having the Internets, this makes it a big inconvenience.
I hung up the phone and played some Playstation 2 (Spider-Man Friend or Foe is excellent for beating up imaginary creatures) and then went to bed. Both Wifey and I decided after sleeping on it that (after exploring the other options, and decided that we would call Cavalier back and see if this could be rectified..........
More wrangling (this time on my cell phone because the phone had been switched to my non-working service due to Cavalier's incompetence) and I am told again that the mistake is Cavalier's and it will be repaired post haste and let me transfer you to technical support sir.
That is when I got cut off / hung up on.
I took that as a bad omen, but took a moment to collect myself and called back again.
NOW is where it gets fun.
I talk to technical support and give them the trouble ticket number. The guy puts me on hold and pulls it up. After a moment, he comes back and tells me "Well sir, here is the problem. Cavalier does not offer stand alone DSL in your area"
"But I have had DSL for 3 years at this address. You mean to tell me that I can have DSL with a phone, but not without? Why is that?"
"Because we don't offer stand alone DSL in your area"
...I won't go into detail as to how long this Bizarro-world "Who's on First" conversation went back and forth. Leave it at I apologized in advance to the nice man on the other line and proceeded to go off on a diatribe of vitriol worthy of H.L. Mencken himself as to what level of incompetence that the company as a whole must celebrate in order for it to take 2 days and 12 hours of conversation for someone to realize this vital little piece of information.
To sum up (since I have to get home for a service call and need to leave), the house will be switching to DirecTV and Verizon DSL as of this afternoon.
I hate to suddenly leave it at that, but I have to run to make sure I am home for the beginning of the switch-over.

Friday, May 02, 2008

Today's Mood Is...

The Hens are clucking away. Today's topic? That Reverend Wright is getting paid to sabotage Barack Obama's campaign. Yes, they do in fact "know that's right".
So let's sum up the fear factors I am currently being inundated with...
The Hens think that Obama is the victim of a vast Caucasian conspiracy.
A relative forwarded me the thought that it states in the Bible that the Beast that will bring about the End Of Days will be "a charming man of Muslim descent" (before you say it, I know that Muslim is not a descent-able lineage. It is just more fuel for the fire I am lighting under the "Pray that it is environment and not heredity that is the overall denominator in one's mental make-up)
A friend is convinced that Hillary Clinton is going to win because women are going to en masse nag and cajole their husbands into voting for her. And if that doesn't work, they will withhold sex (you would think married guys would be used to that). Yes, it is Lysistrata all over again.
Screw all of 'em. I'm still votin' Kucinich!

If only I could...

There is a lady who works here in the hospital, in the kitchen to be exact. She is very friendly, and I have exchanged pleasantries with her since I started working here almost 4 years ago. The thing that I love is the way she says hello.

No matter who you are or how long or how well she knows you, she begins every greeting with "Hey, baby".

Now as a longtime resident of Maryland (and the greater Baltimore area to narrow it down even further), I have gotten used to, nay, impervious to any possible charm held by someone calling someone else "Hon". In fact it kind of annoys me. But her "Hey, baby" ALWAYS works. I don't know if it is the delivery, the fact that she is the only one who regularly does that, or what it is, but it never fails to flow exactly right. Man or woman, young or old, no matter how you are classified it works when she says it.

I will never be that awesome.