Friday, February 22, 2008

Today's Mood Is...


I don't feel good. Outside is snow / freezing rain / hail / back to freezing rain / back to hail / frogs / etc... I have to work at Bullseye tonight and tomorrow night. I have 2 shows in 3 days, with a rehearsal smack dab in the middle (in case I am feeling rusty).
Meh.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Today's Mood Is...


...with a side of...


Politikal sarkazm. I haz it.
But my uncle was framed!

I smell old people...


...to be more precise, I smell LIKE old people. I have done something to screw up my neck / back / shoulder and have had to have Wifey apply liberal amounts of Bullseye Inc. brand version of Ben Gay the last couple of days. It is not an aphrodisiac. At least not yet. I am sure that when I am 65 and in the home the smell of Icy Hot will stir feelings and hopefully other things assuming they can still be stirred, but for now it is not teh pleasant.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Today's Mood Is...


And I mean it from the heart of my bottom.

Random Valentine Goodness! Feel free to share with your friends and loved ones!






But wait, there's more!..........

More Love For You...






Nope, we ain't done yet...

Radar Love...






...and we continue...

...........more..............






In case you hadn't noticed, www.somethingawful.com did a photoshop contest for Star Wars Valentines. I saved pretty much all of them. I am going to use them now.

...I should be working right now, but I'm not...






almost...there...






.....

Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational Valentine's Day Mega Post!






Okay, that's it. I was going to start posting all of my "I'd hit it" pics, but I have to do some REAL work at SOME point while I am here. They are paying me (kinda) to do it, after all.

I cannot make this kind of crap up

Once again I do not know from where the topic came, but JJ and the Hens (kinda like Josie and The Pussycats, only old and wrinkly and not at all hittable - and yes I consider both the live action stars and the cartoon characters on which they were based hittable) are talking about some 16 year old that killed his parents, then his brothers and sisters. That is nothing but tragic, no matter the circumstances. But the thing that made me mention this morbid topic is that they were all saying "I can see killing the parents, but why the brothers and sisters? What did they do?"

So matricide and patricide is cool, but not offing your brother? How very Greek tragedy of them. I hope none of them named their kids "Antigone".

And if anyone reading this just pronounced that "anti gone", as in the opposite of "pro stay", PLEASE look it up.


PLEASE.

I don't know if I am more disturbed by the crime or the tacit approval of parent killing around here.

Interlude...

The Hens are OUT OF CONTROL today! And not even because it is Valentine's Day. No no no, they went on a tangent of epic proportions, going from Valentine's Day to getting diamonds for Valentine's Day to a dissertation on the veracity of the movie Blood Diamond and now are dishing over the most recent episode of Moment of Truth and how (it is apparent) the lying cheating dog that was on there. And I have just learned that next week there will be a Mormon boy on the show! Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh! They cannot wait for that one because they want to know if he hates his parents for being raised as a Mormon. Because being raised as a Mormon would obviously lead to parental issues.

It also seems that someone somewhere (it could have been on that show that they are still cluckign over, but it might be something completely different) that a lot of black people have a good deal of European in them, and not a lot of Indian in them (that is pretty much a direct quote, at least in terminology). I cannot speak for any of that with any degree of certainty since I have not done any research on this. But I can say with some level of certainty that while I do not know for sure the amount of European in Wifey (at least percentage wise), I plan on making sure she has some European in her this weekend.

Subtlety. I haz it.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Today's Mood Is...


That is verbatim. From what, I do not know.
Click on the pic for embiggination and readability for hilarity purposes.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Today's Mood Is...


Wifey had her wisdom teeth pulled yesterday. She is on some very fun (for me) drugs. Right now she is passed out on the couch, having little Kafka dreams that her to moan things like "Oh boy!".
I don't know what to tell you.
I need a beer.

All the things print to fit...

Oh, I see what you did there...

Okay, this will not be a full on, 27 paragraph missive, but I am going to give you some of my long promised updating to my life.

Wifey is in fact back from NY. However, she was just back up there for another round of auditions, including one for a national tour. So for all I know, in a couple of months I will be all alone again, just me and a dog and a cat and an upstairs neighbor and an internet connection...

And possibly a year's supply of kleenex...

ANYWAY, I have now been smoke free for 37 days. One of the benefits of Wifey getting fired from G-Hellhole (those who worked there can figure out how to pronounce that) was that we had to switch over to my insurance from Moleville. Well, since Moleville is part of a major hospital that is part of a major worldwide university system (have I finally said too much?), we have excellent insurance. The pay might be shitty, but the insurance is AWESOME! So finall the Chantix was covered, and with the help of Pfizer and a modest co-pay, I quit smoking as of the new year. And as of today I have not slipped up once. So that is a good thing. It also made Wifey's surgery a lot cheaper. But there is one thing that Chantix does not help with, and that is temper. I will fully admit to being a bit cranky at first, so I was glad that Wifey was not at home for the first few days. But if the old lady who cut me off on North Avenue is reading this, I am so sorry for telling you to go do those things. Especially to who I told you to do them to. I am pretty sure that those things are not even legal to do. So I take it back. But next time use your turn signal please. And if you can make sure that your car is actually clear of my car so that I don't have to slam my brakes in order to keep my front end in its current configuration I would really appreciate it.

Jabberjaws has been in a lot more recently. Luckily for her, by the time she started coming in more often I was past the DIE YOU MOTHER#$%&!@ stage of my quitting. I did learn from boss #1 of 247 (bosses ranked in order of recognition of bossitude, not for any personal ranking, just in case one of the other 246 bosses reads this) that her husband is (contrary to all of our theories) just as talkative as she is, which amazes me. With the amount of time they spend camping out in their RV, you would figure that two people who consume that much oxygen on a regular basis in that enclosed of a space would have caused one of them to die from asphyxiation by now, or for them to create such a vacuum of air that the RV would actually implode, possibly taking out a few square miles of campground with them. Maybe I need to brush up on my physics theories.

During one of her rants the other day (possibly yesterday, now that I think of it) I leaned that JJ's husband collects pancake mixes from around the world. Now, with all due respect to Larry the Upstairs Neighbor (who could live on pancakes and potatoes and never be wanting for anything), that has got to be one of the stupidest things I have ever heard of. She went on and on about how he has blueberry mix, pecan mix, butter pecan mix, walnut mix...until I actually could no longer bite my tongue (besides, I was getting up to leave so that I could come home and pick up Wifey for her appointment with the tooth DR, so I knew that no matter what happened I was going to be saved). I looked her right in the eye and told her that THAT was one of the most fascinating hobbies I had ever heard of. Then I walked out the door and left her to the Hens.

Sometimes when you see an open door you HAVE to go through it, and every once in a while hearing JJ ramble on is more melodious than hearing Kenny G's song repeated over and over until you feel like Bill Murray.

Don't drive angry.

BSR

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Today's Mood Is...



I know I keep promising to you a big sweeping update on all things BSR, but now is not the time. Literally, since this time I didn't change the post time to make it the last one for the day. However, a proposed law banning resteraunts from serving obese people is something I have to share before I go pass out for the evening.
I know that resteraunts are living through the smoking ban, but except for buffets, I fail to see how this could lead to anything but financial ruin for the dining industry. And what do you do for drive thrus? What if the lardass is in the passenger seat (this could lead to record profits for Checkers and a much longer line at the right side drive thru)? Would this lead to fatties standing outside of McDonalds, begging skinny people to go in and buy them a Double Quarter Pounder like 16 year olds in front of a liquor store? Or would it lead to a massive increase in frozen White Castle being bought in grocery stores? It boggles the fat mind.
Dammit, now I am hungry.
BSR

Friday, February 01, 2008

Today's Mood Is...


BOOF! Upside yo' head, I said BOOF upside yo' head!!!!
I think that if the 16th President of the United States of America was a modern day bear / cat (I am not quite sure which one he is, but I am leaning towards cat) who spent time as a gangsta rapper, he would look and sound amazingly like this. It is almost spooky how realistic this would be.

Still st-rug-ga-ling

You need to read that in the voice of a drunk Joe Namath to get the full effect of what st-rug-ga-ling really means. But I promise to be back next week. Early next week. I am aiming for Monday, so as to not interfere with the Tuesday update of the Sports Blog. I am trying folks. I am trying.