So I was lying in bed last night when Wifey came down the stairs (she is on a 25.7 hour clock so right now she is going to bed around 1-3 AM and getting up around 9-10AM, or whenever the animals tell her it is now time for food / potty emergency). Apparently Buttercup left her bone in a place that caused Wifey to have an issue, so when she came downstairs she went to tell Buttercup that she needs to be more careful in the future.
We are both well aware that when talking to an animal, 99.999% of what they hear sounds like an adult in Peanuts, but we (like pretty much everyone else in the world) will still talk to them as if they DO in fact understand us, if for no other reason than because they at least LOOK like they are listening to you, when in fact all they are doing is HEARING you.
Anyway, Wifey tells Buttercup (who was laying on the bed with me at the time) that where Buttercup left the bone has caused her much consternation. Before Wifey can complete her thought, however, I blurted out "Maybe you should get some Ex-Lax or Pepto Bismol!"
I'm kind of an idiot that way.
This brilliant piece of comedy gold tickled me to no end, and caused me to start laughing uncontrollably (in my defense I was very tired and kind of punch drunk / loopy). Wifey glomped me for a minute, then went back upstairs (after warning me that if I pull that kind of stunt with the kids she will kill me.
I know Wifey has been trying to kill me for years(she keeps denying it, but we all know the truth). My fear is that she will bring up moments like this under the "justifiable homicide" defense. And that she will win.