Monday, June 29, 2009

Today's Mood Is...

I find any loss of life to be sad, even if the person "lived a full life", and even if the loss of life ends pain and suffering for the person and their family (like it did when my grandfather passed years back).

For some reason, "celebrities" (I use " " because the idea of celebrity is an ephemeral concept at best) have been dropping like flies lately. Bea Arthur, Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael much for the rule of 3's eh?

I do have to say that as a person who observes and comments on society, and as a comedian, I will particularly miss Billy Mays. He got that his "fame" was all about the character and he never took himself seriously (we call people famous for selling crap who get an inflated sense of self "Vila"s). He laughed at the fact that people knew who he was (just watch the ESPN 360 commercials).

RIP Pitch Man.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Today's Mood Is...


It has been a long week here in the world of BSR. I am (hopefully) in the final stages of re-financing the house (and knocking a decade or so off of the mortgage), Drop Three is busy prepping for Artscape, and then there is the usual litany of day to day annoyances that always pop up, no matter who you are.

I am pretty sure that I have mentioned in the past that Wifey and I "talk" during the day by way of instant messenger. Otherwise we would probably go days without any real conversation of any kind with the way our schedules overlap.

I will acknowledge that the written word is often harder to translate than the spoken word. Especially the intent behind the words. Wifey and I have taken great pains to make sure we express ourselves face to face when we have an issue with one another, so that the intention behind the words is not lost or mistranslated.

However, when things are going well, you get things like this (IM names changed to protect the "innocent"...

Wifey: You are silly!

Me: l am punchy

Wifey: So am I!

Wifey: But mine is from lack of sleep, not crazy.

Me: then go back to sleep

Me: as is mine

Wifey: Your's is too, but you have an added layer of crazy.

Me: nope

Wifey: Nope, I'm getting CRABS!

Me: mine is all from lack of sleep

Obviously, I was typing my last post as Wifey was dropping THAT particular bombshell on me. Now in her defense, she posted THIS a moment later...

Wifey: Mom is bringing CRABS AND BEER!

But still, knowing that I am a bit bushed, don't you think there is a better way that could have been stated originally? That is NOT what you want to hear what your spouse (or any intimate partner) say to you.

Qualifiers at the BEGINNING of the declaration from now on, please!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Today's Mood Is...

You would be hard pressed to find someone who TRULY LIKES their job. True there are those who derive both a paycheck and a level of psychic income from their professions, but most of us are more about the bonus as a reward than we are the satisfaction of a job well done as another nameless, faceless drone in the world of cubicles and call centers (and when you are as lucky as me, those two worlds are combined!). I also think it is a safe bet to say that no one here in Purgatory is here for the love of the A/R - Medical Billing game. And when you have people who work for the money more than for the job satisfaction, and the bosses are off gallivanting about doing what owners do (18 holes comes to mind), some of those people are going to start talking.

I am all for venting. I do it to / with my friends, they do it to / with me. It is healthy to get frustrations out before they build up to a toxic level and then when someone parks in that spot that YOU ALWAYS PARK IN (even if there is no assigned parking at your job) AND EVERYBODY KNOWS I ALWAYS PARK THERE AND WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...well, it is better to get it out before there is a Thriller-inspired fight scene in the break room (I thought they told you not to come around here!).

But what people have to realize is that while some venting is healthy, you chose to work here as much as they chose to hire you. You had to apply for the job, and accept their job offer. If things are as bad as what two particular people say they are, specifically Doo Wop and Razzle Dazzle (so named because she can go behind your back like Magic Johnson during the heyday of Showtime in L.A.), it gets a bit much. I would like some things to be different, too. And I make my feelings known to those who need to know. But for 20 minutes (and that is not an exaggeration, Ms. Gaza Strip Club. I checked the clock) they were on a diatribe against everything about this job.

So go find another one. Good luck. Me? I have too many bills to pay to leave just yet. Unless I find something better (I am still waiting on my corporate sponsorship here. I use a LOT of products in my every day life and I would be glad to extol their virtues here, while I am out, on my vehicle, as a T-shirt or some other tasteful clothing options...I am open to negotiation here). If you have something better for me, please bring it here tout sweet.

Until then, I will keep plugging away here and making the best of a sometimes bad situation. And drinking to make it go away. THAT'S the American way!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Today's Mood Is...

Because that is how I roll on Mondays.

You got a problem with that?

Friday, June 19, 2009

Today's Mood Is...

At first I was all like...

...but then I was all like...

Apparently a circuit breaker blew on me yesterday at some point in the morning (it turned out to be temporary, just wait, I'll get to it). I went to Home Depot to get a replacement, but got the wrong kind. It had been a long day in a long week, and since all that particular circuit breaker controlled was the lights in the ceiling of the first floor (kitchen / living room / dining room) but didn't affect the outlets (still had power to fridge, computer, television), I said "screw it, I'll get the right one tomorrow in between jobs and go from there.

The light switch in the kitchen was installed sideways. Why? Because the electrician who set up this house was on whatever passed for crack in the 1940's. This is important in a moment...

Mommo-in-law came by yesterday morning to do some laundry and take care of The Dog of Ultimate EVOL for a while (this is how I found out about the electricity problem, a I called her to tell her that there was something in the fridge for her to take home with her, and after she told me of the problem we agreed to avoid opening the fridge until I could document that the fridge was working on keeping the stuff in it as viable vittles). I am guessing that as she discovered the problem of the not having lights and ceiling fans that worked she moved through the house to see the extent of the problem (since it was the middle of the day she didn't need the lights on to see, I know that for sure). And since the light switch in the kitchen is sideways, it is not obvious to anyone if the switch is in the on or off position if the light is not working. That is why I almost had an accident in the bed at 4 this morning.

"Whatever do you mean, Ron?"

I am glad you asked.

Our bedroom is in the basement. During the winter (or whenever it is cold enough that Wifey wants to use the space heater, which means any temperature below 78 Fahrenheit), we close the door to the basement in order to keep the heat where we are. But when it DOES warm up past Wifey heating standards, we leave the basement door OPEN, so that the heat can escape up the stairs and away from us. And since the door to the basement is in the kitchen, and at some time around 4AM today the circuit breaker re-set itself (hence the temporary thing from before), the light in the kitchen suddenly came on.

Larry the Upstairs Neighbor is not known for coming into our part of the house unannounced at 4 in the morning. Besides the point that I had closed and locked the door to our part of the house earlier. Wifey is somewhere north of the Mason Dixon line, living the high life. So it is just me and Evol Dog (and Typhoid Mary the cat) in our part of the house. Neither of them can reach the switch, let alone turn it on. Plus, they were both in the bed when it happened. And to be honest, at 4AM the fact that the light was not working earlier is not the first thing you think of.

The first thing you think of is "BURGLAR!". Or to be precise "BURGLAR WITH A NIGHT VISION PROBLEM!!!!!".

So after I was shocked awake by lights suddenly coming on in my house, and after I calmed my bladder down (home intrusion is not time for a piss break, ya know?), I grabbed my Mag Lite flashlight (the 6 cell one that is perfect for braining some idiot with) and the 4 inch think dowel rod that is about the length of a long nunchuk handle, and made my way to a place where I could see up the stairs, and I listened for activity (I also grabbed my phone and dialed 9-1, with my finger on the 1 in order to complete the call as soon as I heard them unplugging and moving my television). After 5 minutes or so of hearing nothing but the fans in the basement running (and beginning to do the pee pee bounce dance), I ventured up the stairs and found that everything was exactly where I left it, it was just better illuminated than before. EVOL dog gave me a look of "since we're up here, how about some Snausages for my trouble?". I turned off the lights, went back downstairs and took a leak that would have made Ogre in Revenge of the Nerds 2 jealous.

This is why I am drinking my grandfather's favorite coffee this morning.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Today's Mood Is...

So I am driving into work this morning, and as is my wont I am flipping through the stations trying to find something that will pique my interest enough to keep me from turning the car around and going right the hell back to bed (a little war I fight pretty much every day. I am at work right now, but I don't know if that means that I won or lost this particular war).

Eventually I tuned into 102.7 (for you non-locals that means I was listening to "The Jack"). As I approached the toll booths for the Ft. McHenry Tunnel, an old song from my hair band listening past came blaring through my speakers. At first I sang along, until I started paying attention to the lyrics. And THAT is when I felt a little repulsed at not thinking about this sooner.

The song? She's Only 17 by Winger. Just in case you are not among the initiated, here are the lyrics, courtesy of gugalyrics(dot)com...

I saw sparks fly, from the corner of my eye
And when I turned, it was love at first sight
I said please excuse me, I didn't catch your name
Oh it'd be a shame not to see you again

And just when I thought she was comin' to my door
She whispered sweet and brought me to the floor, she said

I'm only seventeen, but I'll show you love like you've never seen
She's only seventeen, daddy says she's too young, but she's old enough for me

Come to my place, we can talk it over, oh everything going down in your head
She said take it easy, I need some time, time to work it out, to make you mine

And just when I thought she was comin' to my door
She whispered sweet and brought me to the floor, she said

I'm only seventeen, you ain't seen love, ain't seen nothing like me
She's only seventeen, seventeen

Such a bad girl, loves to work me overtime
Feels good (ha), dancin' close to the borderline
She's a magic mountain, she's a leather glove
Oh she's my soul, it must be love

She's only seventeen, still she gives me love, like I've never seen
She's only seventeen, daddy says she's too young, but she's old enough for me
She's everything I need, daddy says she's too young
But she's old enough, old enough for me

Classy, ain't it?

And people wonder why "grunge" took off like it did.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Today's Mood Is...

I know it is Friday, and I know that many of us (myself included) do not function well until a decent amount of coffee has been

  • Consumed

  • Processed for it's life giving caffeine
but that doesn't preclude someone who just knows something, but knows it incorrectly. For instance, I have a good friend who always says "supposably" instead of "supposedly". He has no idea he is wrong, and it is one of those things that you just have to shake off.

I was sitting here in Purgatory this morning, and for some reason the topic du jour was jury duty. Why? Hell if I know. I walked into it. One of the Hens was going off about it, which got Limpy the IT Genius going. THAT brought in X-TERN and Snorty McSnifflesnot, and soon the entire cast was going on about serving on a jury, the "pay" (apparently after a week they bump your jury pay to $50 a day!), packing lunch versus going out for lunch while you are downtown, leg cramps forcing judges to allow extra recesses, and inevitably to parking downtown versus taking the bus. And THAT is what led to my favorite misspeak of the week, when one of my coworkers (who is remarkable in the fact that she has been so unremarkable while I have worked here that I have no idea what to nickname her, so for now I will call her Question 2, Electric Bugaloo) stating that people are going up to cars and removing their Cadillac Converters right from cars that are parked in garages downtown.

I didn't know I had one of those, since I drive a Daimler/Chrysler/Chapter 11 vehicle. But forewarned is forearmed, so I am going to be taking extra precautions with my Caddy Converter from now on.

PYA, people!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Today's Mood Is...


HEY! Wait just a damn minute!

Monday, June 08, 2009

Today's Mood Is...

So I have a friend who filed for bankruptcy, which is not an easy thing to do when you take pride in the fact that you are not prone to take help when you are in trouble. It is part of that ephemeral, rapidly disappearing American spirit of lifting yourself up by your bootstraps and digging in. But this person realized that this was not a battle they had brought on themselves, that this was not a thoughtless schmuck running up credit cards and then running away from their responsibility, but that they were hit by a confluence of events that would give any person more than a couple moments of pause, and for the sake of their sanity and in order to allow themselves a fresh start this was the right thing for them to do. Last week they went to court to finalize everything. And as far as they knew, they were done with the whole thing and could now work towards moving on with their life.

That is when their lawyer called.

It turns out they have to take a 2 hour or so online exit class (for lack of a better term) in order to truly finalize this whole situation. Now why has this elicited shocked monkeys / cats / pandas from me?

Because they have to pay $50 for the course.

So what the federal government is telling them is "Hey, I know you had something tragic happen to you that put you in a position where you have to eat a good bit of crow and swallow some serious pride in order to get your life back in order. And we agree to allow you to tell all of these people that you are no longer going to pay them and that there isn't Jack Squat they can do about it. But give us $50 in addition to all of your lawyer's fees. KTHXBAI!"

WTF, government? W...T...F?

Thursday, June 04, 2009