BONUS MOOD!!!!!!!!!

We had a special meeting here, just to remind everyone that it is an office and not 11th grade homeroom.  Why?  Because all the Hens v2.0 have been pecking at each other behind each others backs.  And sometimes in each other's fronts, too.  Really, it is just another sad sack kind of office BS pity party.  

And THIS is why I need to get a job with guys, doing guy stuff.  So I can get the hell out of this racket.

Today's Mood Is...

"I can't do my wooooooork!"

SO the Axis of Evil that is my former employer (UMMS) is at it again.

When I worked for them, they had so many cooks stirring the soup that it became a cacophony of wooden spoons banging into each other and nothing could get done.  When one of those "vital cogs" moves on, the rest stare at each other, and instead of assessing their team's strengths and weaknesses and looking on how to make it work and work better, they just send all the work to a 3rd party company that had never even handled what I do.  Their plan basically consisted of saying "Not it!" before everyone else did.  Luckily for me and Wifey, the new company needed someone who could do what I do and didn't feel like going on a big job search when they had me right at their fingertips.

Over the last 5-6 months I feel like I have proven myself to the new company, and they have shown me that they see what I do and they respect my ability to do my job.

And then UMMS swoops in and screws it all up.

Don't worry, I am not being fired / laid off / otherwise reduced in any capacity.  This involves the inability of the UMMS IT Department to make it so that I can do my job.

I have to access the system through a remote server and a network connection.  So why for the last 3 days have I been randomly kicked out and the software I use gotten so discombobulated that I have to restart my computer 10-12 times in an 8 hour workday?  

Because they are to busy playing "Not it!" to do anything about the problem.

I want to re-institute the 3 martini lunch.  If I am going to be stuck sitting in an office, incapable of doing anything, I should at least be able to be drunk.  Seems fair to me.

Today's Mood Is...

Sometimes I am just a spectator...

I have mentioned before that I try to brown bag it (or at least freezer it) as much as I possibly can handle it so as to save a few bucks.  It just makes sense, especially in today's economy.  Well Doo Wop wanted a fish sub, and (newly promoted to supervisor!) Gaza Strip Club (heretofore known as MS. Gaza Strip Club) wanted to get the hell out of the office for a while (which is eminently understandable).  Okoye decided she wanted to go for a ride, too.  And boy, am I glad that I stayed behind...

It seems that Doo Wop was driving.  Since none of you have ever been in the car with her while she was driving, I will tell you what it is like when she is behind the wheel.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGOD

GETMETHROUGHTHISALIVEANDISWEARILLNEVERSINAGAIN!!

Or something like that.

Anyway, Ms. Club told me that someone cut Doo Wop off while they were driving back from whatever place they went to.  To which Doo Wop responded by yelling...

...well, it isn't exactly PC, folks.  so if you get offended easily do not read the next sentence.

She called the guy a "black African bush boogie".

I don't know if you think it is more acceptable since Doo Wop is black, but for the sake of argument and in order to keep this from getting to be a black / white thing I figured I should mention that.

It seems Okoye was on the phone, speaking in whatever language she grew up with (Ms. Club called it Urdu.  Take from that what you will).  The person on the phone obviously understands SOME English, because there was an almost immediate, heated conversation happening on the phone in a couple of different languages.

Doo Wop didn't even realize she said anything until Ms. Club and I told her what happened.

It reminded me of a story from a few months ago.  Wifey and I met my parents for something and we wound up having lunch together at a local diner.  nothing wildly exciting.  I was sitting directly across from my father, Wifey was directly across from my mother.  I was having a conversation with my father while Mom and Wifey talked about whatever it was they were discussing.  

Then it happened.

At the risk of going into details that are not for the faint of heart, I heard my mother try to tell Wifey about a new cake recipe she had.  It was a 12 cup Bundt Cake recipe.

Now take the first letter of the word "cup" and use it to replace the first letter of the word "Bundt".

I'll wait...

Yup, my mother said she made a cake out of 12 of a word that you really never expect your mother to say.  

And she hoped in vain that I hadn't heard her.  But my immediate stopping in mid word of a conversation with my father to look at her told her that I had in fact caught it.

I think she might still be banned from all the Double-T's in the greater metropolitan area.

Today's Mood Is...

I learned a long time ago that I can only be myself and let the chips fall where they may, in regards to making friends and influencing people.  Do I care what other people think?  To a degree I think everyone does.  I care more what people I consider friends think of me than I do some random person on the street or some person I am forced to interact with because of work.

Like Okoye, for instance...

I had some lasagna for lunch.  I have some frozen meals I keep in the office in order to try to not spend a butt-load of money all the time going out for lunch.  I might go out once, sometimes twice a week, if for no other reason than I need to get out of the office and away from the stupidity for a while.  I usually travel with Gaza Strip Club and Doo Wop, and the three of us vent and generally act a fool up in here until we get back to the office.  But for the most part I try to keep it simple and relatively inexpensive.

Now at this point I should tell you that the lasagna was labeled as "cheesy garlic lasagna with meat sauce".  I like garlic, and I like cheesy lasagna, so it is a no brainer for me.  I have it a couple of times per month, at least every other week, sometimes 2 or 3 weeks in a row (but not on consecutive days, lest I get completely burnt out).

So Okoye walked past and commented that it smelled rather garlicky in the office.  My emptied lasagna tray is in the trash can next to me, and I would not be at all surprised if I am wafting a bit of garlic-ness in the air.  I said that it was probably me that she smelled.  Before I could explain further why that was she gave me a funny look and rolled her eyes at me.  So I said the next thing that popped into my mind...

That my farts smell like garlic.  EXACTLY LIKE GARLIC.  

And to top it off I also said that my belches smelled of strawberry cream cheese.  Because I felt like taking it up another notch.

She got disgusted and turned away.  Doo Wop and Gaza laughed.  And I continued to not give a flying fark about it either way.

Must be a Monday.  Also a banker's holiday.  That's the only way I can figure it out.

Today's Mood Is...

Today's Mood Is...

Today's Mood Is...

A lady has 6 kids.  She decides she wants more.  

Why?  Beats the hell out of me.  

She gets in vitro fertilization (she is single and apparently none of her friends qualify as worthy donors for the old fashioned method.

She has a Farmer in the Dell level of eggs put in her conveyor belt / uterus.  Winds up with 8 bundles of joy.  So that brings the grand total to 14 (just in case you don't feel like doing the math).

It gets better...

She is currently a student, and does not work.  She has no health insurance.  The octuplets are in NICU since even her center ring tent sized incubator bits are not designed to hold an NCAA Division 1 basketball starting lineup with regular bench rotation reserves - sized litter of kids.  A state that has already issued IOU's in lieu of state tax refunds is footing the bill.

Oh, we're not done yet...

The mother (who in public interviews has stated that she has no intentions of seeking help or assistance from the state - even though we already knew they would be footing the bill for them to be nursed from their premature birth until they are ready to go home) is already on food stamps for her phalanx of offspring.

Now it comes out that 3 of the original 6 little ankle biters are special needs patients.

The Aristocrats!

Today's Mood Is...

So I had some claims bounce back to me because they were undeliverable at the address listed.  It is an insurance that my office does not participate with, so they could have changed the mailing address without our being made aware of it.  

I called the number that we have listed for the insurance.  A nice enough sounding lady answered.  I said to her "I am calling from a provider's office.  We are non-par (non-participating) and I need to verify your mailing address, as we have had some claims returned to us as being not deliverable".

She responded with "We're an HMO".

As an abject exercise, read my statement in your normal voice, then read her response in the voice of Ralph Wiggum.

It is definitely Monday.

Today's Mood Is...

This must be Thursday.  I never could get the hang of Thursdays...

Today's Mood Is...

Its easy to get down on yourself and focus on the negatives as they swirl around you in a vortex of suck.

But I rock too hard to be there for long.

Today's Mood Is...

I cannot get into detail regarding what happened at Bullseye Inc. last night.  If I do and it gets traced back to me that I have put this information out onto the intarwebs, I will be fired (at the least), but I can tell you this...

We busted two juvenile shoplifters last night.  One who had been deterred from stealing at our store on two other occasions, and one who had been busted at another store a few months ago.  Their parents were both sick of the fact that they keep getting into trouble, and told the police officer that responded that he had their permission to try and put a little fear into them.  Juvenile Services and the Hickey School were mentioned as a possible destinations for them.  One of the youths asked me if there were gangs at the Hickey School.  I told him there were.  And yes, there are.  But this is where it got fun (at least for me).  I mentioned that there were Crips and Bloods and MS-13.  Then I said the T-Birds and the Pink Squirrels and even the Dave Clark 5 were all active there, and you DEFINITELY did not want to mess with THEM.

That is when the officer left the room to have a laugh.  And that is when my work was done.

Today's Mood Is...

It has been a crappy day, overall.  Mayhap I will delve into some specifics later (however there is one specific I cannot get into on the intarwebs.  I promised silence and will keep it).  

But even on crappy days, weird things happen to me that I don't think ever happen to anyone else.  For instance...

I take a combination of prescribed medications and vitamin / mineral supplements to control my blood sugar.  One of the supplements I take is cinnamon.  If nothing else, it makes my insides smell a little better.  

So this morning, I take my prescribed medications, my Vitamin B, my chromium, and my cinnamon.  All is well until about an hour later.  I felt a little belch coming, and so I did the polite thing (since I am in the middle of an office) and belched into my mouth / throat with my mouth shut, in order to exhale it through my nose once it was finished.  All went according to plan until I exhaled.  Then IT happened.

A cloud of dust came out of my nose.  A cloud of cinnamon dust.  There is no mistaking the smell (or apparently the burn).  It was enough that I could see the remnants on my keyboard.  I do not know if anyone else saw it.  If they did, they didn't say anything.  But still, I can only imagine what it must have looked like.

And THAT is how my Monday is going.

BSR

Today's Mood Is...

At the old day job (technically not in Moleville proper, but up where the surface dwellers lived), every Friday whoever wanted to would put $2 in the kitty and someone would go out and but a couple lottery tickets.  Usually they only won a buck or two, and that money would get rolled into the next week's kitty.

Well, I have been here in Purgatory now for almost 4 months, and earlier this week I decided to see if there was anyone who wanted to begin this little exercise in state sponsored gambling in THIS office.  Out of 9 or 10 people, 5 said yes immediately and a couple others said something to the effect of "what the hell, it's a couple of bucks" (which is my philosophy on it.  There are plenty of ways to blow a couple of bucks - that statement means something ENTIRELY different in Milwaukee - and this is as entertaining as most things you can do for $2/week).  But I wouldn't be posting a story about this if it was all whisky and bacon (these are a few of my favorite things...), so...

I have a new nickname for a previously unmentioned coworker.  She used to work here years ago and left, and now has come back to work the special project that those of us who ARE employed here currently get OT for working after business hours, but she is here DURING business hours, and since she doesn't actually work here full time she is getting regular pay and not OT pay(Confused?  You won't be.  After THIS episode of...SOAP).  Anyhoo, she latched on to this idea of lotto glory really quick and quite vehemently.  I (being the sponsor of this exercise in stadium funding) had said I would get the tickets on Fridays.  I figured I would get a ticket for two drawings on the same numbers (Friday and the following Tuesday) and go from there.  Well Christian Okoye (check out his nickname, right in the first paragraph.  THAT is what I think of her.  But for now, she will be known simply as Okoye) has been saying that I should get the tickets at lunch on Fridays.  And I have been saying that if I go out for lunch on Friday I will get them then.  If I don't I will get them on the way home or while I am at Bullseye Inc. (there is a lottery machine next door at the grocery store).  Well, today I grabbed an envelope from the pile and put my name and the fact that I put $2 in it and put it in a public place.  I then started to inform all of my coworkers that it was there.  When Okoye started in AGAIN on me needing to get it during lunch, I had finally had enough.  I took my money out, scratched off my name, handed the envelope to her and told her that it was her baby now.  I don't know why she doesn't trust me, but if I am going to get scrutinized that harshly over $10 or $12 a week earmarked for lottery tickets, then I do not want to be responsible for it and I sure as hell don't want to play the game with her.

On a personal note, if her uncle ever needs to get money out of the country, I am not going to help him using my bank account.  I don't care how much he is going to pay me to do it.

BSR

Today's Mood Is...

I want chicken, now.  I just can't fgure out why.

Today's Mood Is...

Just as a general rule, TYVM.

I think I am supposed to be flattered

So I am going through my Yahoo! (r) email, which I keep around as my spam dump / register here email account (and so Wifey and I can IM each other while I am at Purgatory), and I find THIS email under the heading "Your recent profile"...

I was looking at your message you left and I think that we need to be with each other. I am good looking girl. I am messaging from my friend's account so don't reply to this email directly 
my personal email is MatildaJenningsDL@gmail.com . I will send you my pic. It was the first time the. annual retail sales figure has fallen on government records going back to 1992. Many analysts believe the overall economy,. as measured by the gross domestic product, plunged at an annual rate of 6 percent in the just-completed fourth quarter after dropping by 0.

There are a few things that make me curious here.  First of all, I have not made any profiles recently.  In fact, the last profile I made in the last few years was when I registered on Fark so I could make snarky comments on the message boards.  I do not know what message she is speaking of, as I have not ever seen that email address before, and the last "message" I sent was a comment on Fark about a Russian skater who's costume malfunctioned and her boob popped out.  I made a Family Guy reference, with a picture of Chris.  If that makes her think that we need to be with each other, well, I do not know WHAT to think of that.  I am glad she included a personal email.  I look forward to her picture.  I am glad to hear that she is good looking.  But the thing that really sold her for me was her obvious interest in economics and the global market.  You just don't find a lot of good looking girls in the global economic think tanks, or at least I have assumed so.  Maybe this will open a whole new world of women who can actually recite pi while I...

...you get the idea.

Wifey, get to memorizin'! BSR is coming home soon and he wants to hear how many decimal places you can get to before your eyes roll back!

Today's Mood Is...

Production here in Purgatory has come to a grinding halt, as everyone pulls up CNN to watch the inauguration (I am going to assume for the sake of expediency that you know what I am referring to).  I wish I could be excited, but I'm not.  I understand the fact that it is history, but to be perfectly honest ALL inaugurations are historical in nature.  The fact that it has extra significance is commentary on both how far we have come as a nation in the last 40+ years, and how much further we really have to go to get where we should be, where something like skin color REALLY doesn't matter (no matter how much we like to be all "colorblind", no one is 100%).  

The thing is, it isn't personal politics.  I will not discuss who I voted for, because frankly it is none of your business.  There is a reason that ballots are private.  But the reason I am all "meh" is that I am trying (amidst a sea of hyperbole) to keep an even keel in regards to what this really means.  The fact is that the previous president was in charge during a time of unprecedented confusion, fear, and eventually economic uncertainty.  And guess which one of those three things REALLY caused his party to lose ground in the national scene.  If you said "MONEY", you win a prize (which I cannot afford to buy for you right now, so you will have to wait).  Barack Obama is a gifted speaker, a passionate man, and a man who seems to TRULY believe that he can help this country.  I will pray every day that he is guided to do what is best for the people of this country and for the people of the world.  May he be wise and deliberate with all of his decisions, and may the task never be more than he can bear.  But he is one man.  That is all that he is.  Jason Whitlock said it best when he said that he is excited for what the future holds, but that Obama isn't Jesus, Dr. King, or Malcolm X.  He is a very good politician (that is a paraphrase, since I cannot pull up Facebook here at work, so I cannot pull the exact quote).  And my fear is that people are now expecting him to do too much, to do the impossible.  And if he doesn't deliver, well, it ain't gonna be pretty.  

All evidence to the contrary, I am also excited for what the future holds.  But that is how I look at life every day.  Every morning that I get out of bed is a blessing, even if my legs hurt and I am tired and would like nothing more than to go back to sleep for another 6 hours.  I CAN get out of the bed.  A lot of people would trade these hardships of mine for theirs in a heartbeat.  The fact that I can hold down two jobs while so many are looking for work is a blessing.  I may not like having to miss out on spending time with my family and friends, but at least I can afford to provide food and shelter for my family, without having to ask for help from someone else, taking help from someone who truly needs it.  Instead, I can contribute to their aid.  I am excited that President Obama has new, fresh ideas to put towards solving the ills of my country and its people.  I just want everyone to take a deep breath, take a step back, and realize that tomorrow will not be all beer and skittles.  And as far as the inauguration goes, as long as it doesn't affect my ability to get from job 1 to job 2, and then to get back home, well then that is all I can really ask for from him today.  Tomorrow we can look at a government grant to support the fledgling BSR Empire.  Hell, Wall Street and Detroit surely don't need ALL $750 billion, do they?

Today's Mood Is...

Why?  Because of THIS.  I drink a little over a pot of coffee a day on average (some days more, but usually at least that).  So remember, the next time you see me, I'm not going gray.  I'm seeing dead people.

Holy CARP!!!

I didn't want to set off any work filters with my title.

You may notice a few changes in the ol' blog.  Apparently I have a "Follower" (followers are cooler than minions, because followers are Blogspot approved and therefore listed on the page.  Not my rules, folks).  And yours truly has his first official follower!  Yes, the BSR Empire has a sanctioned member, and it is Brian, who forevermore will be known as Captain Clubfoot (If you know him you understand.  And if you want to give his name the proper gravitas you must say it like THIS).

Could official sponsors be next?  I'd like to think so!

One of those things you don't really think about

Here in Purgatory, it is a small business, family owned and operated.  The Brothers Chinn own it, and their mother, their brother, and their sister all work here in some capacity.  And sometimes their in-laws help out.

The sister (who apparently handles the HR) is married.  He is apparently working here part time now.  He likes to wear tracksuit pants (which makes me think he is auditioning for the horrible regular television version of the Sopranos that is most assuredly in development SOMEWHERE).  And he just walked up to someone that he is going to be sitting with and learning how to do what she does and said "Don't worry, I don't bite".

Well, to be perfectly honest that was not any concern at all of mine.  UNTIL YOU SAID THAT!!!

I know it is a common phrase.  I have heard it countless times.  I am sure I have even said it before.  But now I have this nagging feeling that he is going to walk up to someone and just start nibbling, and I can't get it out of my head.  Maybe it will  just be to announce his presence, maybe until he is just shy of breaking the skin, maybe until he has the taste of delicious, delicious brains on his palate.  I really don't know.  But I don't want to.

Either way, I no longer trust the bastich.

Today's Mood Is...

IT'S NOT HER FAULT!  IT'S THE FAULT OF THE HOO-HOO!

And YOU can blame the ISB for showing me this, which in turn made me have to post it.

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...NOW WHY THE HELL ARE THEY BLINKING?!?!?!?!? (look at the 9th day)

Today's BONUS Mood Is...

Don't blame me.  I voted for Kodos.

Today's Mood Is...

While I sit here at my desk, trying to look busy whenever someone walks past but otherwise not getting a damn thing done (pretty much like anything else), I came across a site that had a bunch of "battle of the restaurants" with various foodstuffs (cheesesteaks, pizza, etc.).  There was one for Cheeseburgers, too.  And it seems that at one particular place they asked for a burger to be cooked medium rare and had that request refused.  I will let them tell you in more amusing detail...

There's one thing holding it back--the absurd fear many restaurants have of serving under-cooked meat. You request medium rare and they politely inform you that, no, unfortunately they can't do that. The best they can do is medium. The problem is that medium without the rare is really well done. Our species has survived thousands of years huddling around fires and eating chunks of squirrelly meat off the tips of dirty sticks, and suddenly one slightly pink burger is going to launch a "Hot Zone"-sized epidemic that will knock civilization to its knees? One word: amoxicillin.

Can I get an amen, people?!?

Today's Mood Is...

sounds like SOMEONE has a case of the Thursdays...

Today's Mood Is...

I am not sure I can accurately explain the reason that picture is speaking to me.

Also, I would like to announce the newest additions to our cast of Nicknamed Characters.  Let's hear it for Doo-Wop (her name just sounds like it should be the title of an early 60's Motown song.  Don't ask me why, it is just what I hear when I think of her name).  And also a warm round of e-applause for Gaza Strip Club (a combination of her religion and her attitude towards life, which is one of awesomeness).

BSR

Today's Mood Is...

Happy New Year from BSR and The Internet.  Helping you waste valuable work time since 2005.

Today's Mood Is...

and THAT is the real reason you don't "eff" with the Batman.  He don't even need no stinkin' Lazarus Pit, bee-yotch!

Today's Mood Is...

Still don't care about being on the naughty list?

Spreading that Christmas cheer crap

The Final Christmas Picture Post***

***until something else strikes my fancy and I get back on here to do it all over again, that is.

Merry Christmas!

BSR

Today's Mood Is...

You just know this is the kind of guy that would sneak into your house and steal all of your Cookie Crisp.  For he is naught but pure evil.

Today's Mood Is...

So Crazy Train is at it again.  Apparently she is having some medical issue.  At first she thought it was a zit, but now she doesn't.  So she is going to see a dermatologist.  I wholeheartedly agree with her choice.

However, she wants to make sure that EVERYONE in the office knows about her condition.  For instance, she has been talking about it (loudly) to the person right next to her for a while, so that we can all hear her.  For the most part everyone turned their heads enough to acknowledge that she was speaking, which to her was tacit knowledge of her plight.  But it seems my choice of ignoring the whining bitch was not going to be effective.  She made an appointment with the doctor (something else she made sure we were all aware of), then after 3 minutes of staring at me while she was talking to someone else (I could see her in my periphery), she came up to me and asked me to Mapquest directions to this doctor's office.  

Now it is pretty obvious that if someone knows what Mapquest is enough to make the word a verb, they have at least a passing knowledge of the rudimentary workings of the sight and could look it up their damn selves.  But that is not enough for the Train...

No, she needs to come right up on me and ask ME to Mapquest the address for her, and as I am looking it up (knowing that any untoward glance of "Are you fragging serious?" would cause a meltdown of global proportions, and I just got this sweater I am wearing the other day, so I don't want it ruined by crocodile tears), she begins to regale ME with the story of the little pimple that could (be something else).  I know she talked the entire time, but except for the fact that she thought it was stress related (at first), and that it somehow involves a C-Pap (I have NO idea what that is or why it is or what it does, but it sounds like something that happens in stirrups - not the Roy Rogers kind of stirrups, mind you - and I do not want to think of / deal with her feminine issues.  That is FAR beyond my realm of needing to know / giving a shit).

I just keep telling myself it is a short week (I am back on Friday, but I get that nice break on Thursday) and drinking my coffee.  Hopefully it will be enough to stop the rising Zombie Apocalypse level of vitriol in my veins.

BSR

Today's Mood Is...

Why?  Because today is the Office Christmas Party here in Purgatory (I have yet to find a name that resonates in my brain like Moleville did for the last job, so until I do I will keep throwing names at the wall to see what sticks), and the office is full of Shrieking Eels (kind of like Hens, but with more shrieking / flitting about).

Torry better come through with what he signed up for to bring to this shindig.

He wrote down alcoholic beverages.

NOW!!!!!!!!

Today's Mood Is...

Mike Tyson's Punch-Out 2.  In stores now.  

I know what I want for Christmas!

Today's Mood Is...

Today's Mood Is...

Stoopid guy.  Teach HIM to mess with me.

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Cue Aerosmith song in 3...2...1...

Today's Mood Is...

Sorry your auto industry blew up, Ricky.

Yup, Congress denied the automakers bailout, and now unless either A) there isn't some massive reversal (like the first bailout) or B) Bush doesn't open up the $700B bailout for the automobile industry (something he said he wasn't keen on doing, earmarking the bailout for the financial sector), well, it is going to be a LONG 2009, kids.

Getcha popcorn ready.  Either way it is going to be one hell of a show.

BSR

Passing of a legend

Betty Page passed away last night.  And with her, the lingering libidos of almost every man with an AARP card. 

Rest in Peace, Pinup Queen.  I am fairly confident that you helped my grandfather get through WWII AND Korea.

Sometimes they do all the work themselves...

I may have mentioned that there is someone here at the new and improved Torture Complex (formerly known as Moleville, now relocated to a place with windows in order to tease you with the freedom you will never have).  I had been calling her (or at least toying with calling her) White Trash Gwyneth Paltrow, because that is what she reminded me of.  But after taking some time to work in the same general area as her, I have a new name for her...

CRAZY TRAIN

...you see, she has the same trait that someone I used to work with in the local theatre district has, and that is that no matter what someone is talking about, she can twist it into a story about her.  You could say that your pet goldfish died and within 30 seconds she would be saying how her parakeet died when she was 12 and it made her so sad and...

...well, you get the idea.  And what does this have to do with a nominally coherent, all but irrelevant aging rock star?  Well, do you know what the first words of "Crazy Train" are (after the "All Aboard" and the laughing, that is)?

I-I-I-I-I-...

Check out the video, you'll see / hear it.  And whenever she speaks, THAT is all that I can hear in my head.

I guess it could be worse.  It could be Air Supply.

Princess Bride Lightsaber Battle

This is for my boy Fineous. When I saw it I immediately thought of him. Tip o' the Shirt to Larry the Upstairs Neighbor for sending me the link.

Today's Mood Is...

It has been that kind of month around here in the world of BSR, so I do apologize for the excruciating lack of postings.  

No idea when it will clear up, but when it does, you will be the next to know depending on the order in which either I tell you or you read it here.  That is as fair as I can be.

BSR

Today's Mood Is...

No time to explain. Hopefully tomorrow, after the meeting.....

.............FROM HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today's Mood Is...

It is about 3 days until the big Thanksgiving Holiday, the first holiday that Wifey and I have hosted for the family. And since I have been at work more than usual to cover the fact that we are 2 people down at Bullseye Inc., Wifey has had to do way beyond the lion's share of the preparing (with an assist from Momm-o-in-law). So she is obviously frazzled, which is imminently understandable. But still, please to be explaining THIS one...

The laundry room i dogs have been walare the last of the clothes,

...That is NOT from some random IM spammer like in previous entries. That was a copy and paste from a posting by Wifey.

I will award 1000 (yes, you read that correctly, one THOUSAND) points to the person who can come up with the best translation of that sentence. Bonus points if you can do it in Iambic pentameter with rhyming couplets.

BSR

Getting reminded of things

I am AT Bullseye Inc. right now (I am not supposed to have access to teh intarwebs, but one of the managers left their log in on the computer so I am abusing my privileges right now. Deal with it Corporate Overlords!). I just ran into an old college friend,who I decided I would still talk to even if he DID have on a Redskins hat. The reason I am giving him this mulligan is that he had the "R" covered up by a big pink button that said "It's a GIRL!".

Yup, he just became a Daddy. Again. For the second time.

For THAT I am willing to forgive a lot of bad team apparel choices.

The thing that got me is, I took him over to the MEGA-OVER-LORD COFFEE COMPANY (3 guesses which company THAT is) while he was waiting for his pictures of the newly swaddled one to be developed, and as we talked about the college chums we had spoken to recently and what was happening in THEIR lives, and what was happening in ours...well I suddenly had a flash of him and I taking turns on an ice flume shot pourer (A block of ice with a channel carved in it, tilted at an angle, with someone standing at the top end pouring shots down the channel towards the awaiting mouth of the person at the bottom end. The person at the bottom drinks the now ice cold shot and then tries to rub the frostbite off of their chin. I guess we weren't as concerned with germs back then), passing a bottle of bourbon back and forth while standing outside smoking cigarettes, and 10 other stupid irresponsible things that we did while stupid, irresponsible college students. Now he is a father two times over, while Wifey and I have had preliminary discussions on starting our own brood. And it felt natural.

Yes, I know...the Circle of Life and all that crap. But this one was a little different. I always expected Fineous to be a daddy, and a damn good one at that. The friends of mine that have had kids are all ones that I could see being parents. Even me, I have always planned on having a family (even though until I met Wifey I thought it was going to have to be due to a hostage situation or some kind of bizarre poker bet). And I am not saying that this guy isn't a good dad. Knowing him I can see him being that father that everyone thinks I will be (no pressure there, buddy). But it just hits home when you don't see someone for a few years, a person you last saw saying "WHOOOO-HOOOOOOO!!!" while laying in a field at 3 in the morning, and now he in the office manager for a local business and a husband and a father. He and I went from talking about tits and ass to talking about Disneyland vacations and tax shelters.

And that's cool. In a very "it wouldn't have been cool 10 years ago" kind of way.





Damn adulthood.

Today's Mood Is...

Okay...

It is Friday.

I have been given an excellent opportunity by my current day job to make a short term sacrifice for a long term benefit, and I am taking full advantage of it.

I have a playoff game for the trivia team tomorrow afternoon, then I am going home to soak my feet and watch Tropic Thunder (and probably ordering a BIG order of wings to boot)

So all in all, things are pretty good. So why am I making children's entertainment channel Evil Wayne Brady?

Because sitting DIRECTLY to my left is a young lady. She has her music on at a level that is frankly annoying, because the only way I could compensate would be to turn up my radio to a wholly unacceptable level for a business atmosphere, and I am not getting into a speaker battle over my inability to hear Mark Viviano and the Bulldog banter about the upcoming Ravens' game. But that is not the biggest problem (I can block out the music pretty well). No, the biggest problem is that she apparently has allergy issues (what she is allergic to that is causing this kind of reaction in late November means that in the spring we are in for a HOOTENANNY!) and is sitting here snorting every 7.3 seconds. Loudly. To be perfectly frank she sounds like she is rooting up truffles. And THAT is making the Brave Little Toaster angry. And when the Brave Little Toaster gets angry...

PEOPLE DIE!!!!!!

Today's Mood Is...

So, my life is usually pretty mundane, all things considered. Sure, some funny things happen, but I am sure that funny things happen to pretty much everyone, only I am enough of an attention whore that I think random strangers would want to read about it. It is my own conceit, and I am okay with it.

But sometimes something happens that make me wonder...

As I have said on more than one occasion I have recently changed day jobs. Well, technically I kept my day job, but it was dissolved by the company I worked for and reformed by a new company and I followed it and continue to do it, hopefully with more efficiency now that I have an actual support structure and a clear management chain without 12 layers of duplicity standing around getting in my damn way...

So anyway, I changed jobs. I now work for a private company that does 3rd party billing. Not too terribly exciting. It seems that there are trade publications, both newspaper and magazine, that cater to these special interests. And to garner a free little blurb of publicity within the business, both myself and the other Kernan refugee had our pictures taken by the media guy here and we were mentioned / published in a couple of the trade rags. And that is the end of that, right?

WRONG.

Last week I get some mail from some financial planner who took the time to cut my picture and bio out of the paper, LAMINATE IT, and mail it to me with a note saying "Congratulations" and his business card. At that point I take it as a guy fishing forbusiness in these difficult economic times and leave it at that. And that was that, until this morning.

I get a phone call from somebody who sounds like they have a head cold and a rabbit boiling in a pot off in the distance. He starts talking like he knows me, congratulating me on my new job and asking when we can meet to discuss my financial future and oh by the way did I get his mail?

Yup, now I know who it is, and now I am a little put off. When I started telling him that I have a very busy schedule with 2 jobs, including one in retail and that this is the busy season he starts asking me if we can have lunch together. I tell him thanks, but I cannot commit to anything right now, I'm real busy. He started to speak again but I told him I had to go, but it had been lovely talking to him and I would call him back...

I took a look at his information he snet me. He has two VERY different email addresses, one of the usual "first initial of first name and full last name at business name dot com", but the othe one "xyz at personal email dot com". And yes, it was REALLY xyz, I am just not going to mention the provider. But still, if you are putting THAT on your business card OR your letterhead I am going to have to think twice before I start trusting you with my hard earned, rapidly shrinking retirement fund, TYVM.

So I have a stalker now.

Why can't I get that hot chick who wants to be all stalker-y No, I get a man with a head cold and a hard-on for IRA accounts. Not fair, world. NOT. FAIR.