Today's Mood Is...

This is turning into one of the ubiquitous "those" kind of days, for reasons both various and sundry. But I will not bore you with all of that. Instead, I am going to bore you with the idiot that just called the billing office.

Consider this a life lesson that you may apply to your own existence. If you get a bill and call the number on said bill, and a person answers "Billing Office", that person works in an office where many different accounts are handled. If that person takes your information and then tells you that they are not the person who handles the billing for that particular office and offers to put you in the voice mail of the person who DOES handle that particular office because they are on the other line, DO NOT ASK THE PERSON YOU ARE SPEAKING TO IF THE OTHER PERSON IS GOING TO CALL YOU BACK! The person offering to transfer you has no power or authority to coerce the other person to call you back. If they did, they wouldn't be the schmuck fielding the call in the first place. That is the law of Natural Selection - Cubicle Style. And by asking the person that question you are begging them to go to the person you ACTUALLY need to speak to and tell them that some asshat (or whatever designation is used in that particular office) is on their voicemail, but since they are in fact an asshat, take your time getting back to them. Maybe get to them on Thursday.

Because we are bitter, bitter people with nothing else to amuse us while we are here other than to take vicarious shots at you and to prioritize our work day in ascending order of what annoys us.

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Cuz HERE IT COMES, FOOL!

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Because there seems to be a distinct lack of brains both in this office and in the people calling me today.

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I am the kind of person that needs to wake up somewhat gradually. That is to say, I am not one of those "alarm clock goes off and I get out of bed" kind of people. There are occasions that will make me hop out of bed with the quickness, like when I sleep through my alarm clock and realize that I was supposed to be at work 17 minutes ago, or when Wifey punches me in the eye (it really happens more often than you think). At moments like that my eyes pop open, my heart starts to race, and I jump out of bed. But as soon as the adreneline / pain wears off, I am ready to fall back asleep. I say all of this as a way of explaining that I have 3 alarms that go off in 30 minute intervals so that I can go from dead to the world sleep to annoyed at the prospect of having to get out of bed soon sleep to resigned to the fact that I have to move if I am going to be at work on time acceptance. Its like 7 stages of grieving every morning.

**On a side note, I do the same kind of thing almost every day while at work. I have stuff in the fridge and freezer here to have for lunch so that I can save some money over going out to lunch every day. But at 10 AM nothing I have is what I want, so I start to think of Baconators and Chicken Carbonara subs. Then, the next 2-3 hours are spent debating the merits of eating the stuff I have that I don't want versus eating the stuff I don't want to have to leave the office for just to spend money I shouldn't be spending. 99 times out of 100 I eat the stuff I brought in. Every so often my need to get away from the desk / coworkers and my desire for something not pulled from a cardboard box and microwaved (at least by me. I know that is pretty much what they are doing wherever I wind up if I do leave the office, but since I am not the one doing it it makes it different) leads me to the open road and eventually to the strip mall down the street.

Enough with the digression. Back to the story at hand.

Another thing that is a curse of mine is that when I am in the world of half awake and half asleep, my internal clock loses the ability to tell time, and I start to think I have overslept and missed my next alarm and am now late. I then think to myself that it is silly, and I have not had that happen since I was in my 20's and was out drinking most nights and was more apt to sleep through my alarm clock because the whisky had not completely worn off yet. But I will lay there wondering what time it is (my cell phone is my alarm clock, and while there is a clock at the end of the room, I am severely nearsighted and without my glasses all the clock looks like is a blur of red LED), and there is not way to quickly check the time, so to do so means effort, and effort is the antithesis of lying in bed avoiding reality. So I lay there, and eventually I check my phone and it is still 14 minutes before the alarm clock is going to go off again, but now I am half sitting up, and my brain is chugging along and I know that to lay down again will only lead me to trying to predict when the alarm WILL go off and fighting the fact that I should just get up so I am not so damned rushed this morning, and hey, if I get out of the house early enough maybe I can hit the McDonalds on the way in, because who doesn't like a McGriddle now and then (only Mormons and Communists, in case you didn't know the answer to that question)? But to get out of bed early is to surrender rest time (and yes, I know that I am not resting for these 20 or so minutes, but dammit I am laying down, and I don't want to get up yet!). So I lay there, having a war of logic versus comfort in my head, until the alarm goes off and I begrudgingly get out of bed.

It is at this time that I should also tell you that I have my leaving the house and arriving at work JUST IN TIME pretty much down to a science, knowing that depending on at which point in my 5-7 minute window of departure time that I leave the house I am going to have to be that much more creative in my I-95 passing and lane weaving (something I try to avoid as much as possible, because I hate all lane weavers other than myself, because none of them ever have a valid reason like I do when I do it). And part of my internal debate is the thinking that I could completely avoid this if I get out of bed at that moment instead of waiting until the last minute. And then, during the drive in to work, every pass and weave is met with the back of my brain telling me "if you had gotten up when I told you to we wouldn't be doing this, dumbass!". All of that factors into my morning "Crossfire" like brain battle, also.

So I pulled into the parking lot at 7:59 this morning (it would have been a little better, but there had been a stalled car in the tunnel causing a bit of a traffic snafu), and as I was getting out of my car, Chinn 1 (the one who works on cubicle row with us, albeit a corner cubicle and he isn't locked to it for 8 hours a day like we are) pulls up in his truck, so we walk in together. And if I am walking in with one of the owners of the company I CAN'T be late, right?

One day I hope to be a pancake.

Today's Mood Is...

Warning - I am not editing my cuss words out today...

I have plenty of reasons to be in a shitty mood right now. Reasons that are perfectly valid and filled with logical rationalizations that can be cited without impunity.

But really, that is no reason to say you are going to stab your supervisor in the face.

It was one of those things that just popped out of my mouth while a bunch of us were joking around about today's dismissal time (most Fridays we get out at 4 instead of 4:30, but it isn't guaranteed, so there is usually some playful cajoling going on from about noon on, especially when neither of the Brothers Chinn are here, like today). The floor supervisor (the guy in charge whenever the Chinns are off doing what the hell ever they do when they aren't here) started saying something to the effect of us leaving at 5 instead of at 4 OR 4:30.

It is important to note that there are no feeling of animosity towards him. In fact, I like him a great deal. And when my mouth started moving I was playing along and bantering. But what my brain made my mouth say wasn't so playful.

I said that if 5 is the quitting time that I had better get out since I am on London Time and it is already past time to go. When he asked what that meant, I started talking, and by the time I finished I said something about stabbing him in the face.

I have no idea what else I said or why those words chose to come out of my mouth. I have been trying to recall what could have made those words form in my head or in my mouth or anything else. I am drawing a blank.

To his credit, he blew it off at the time and not until I was walking past him near the break room did he pull me aside to tell me that my statement was beyond the pale (which I know, but really, the fact that I even said it didn't truly register until he said something to me about it). I apologized to him right then and there, and then sent a written apology email to everyone who was around when I said it. But I still feel even more like shit now than I did before I pulled the Ass Hat Move Of The Month (I just invented that award to give myself. I am pretty sure no one will be able to claim it from me in the next 10 days).

And really, is that the kind of thing that you want to say to your supervisor when you are about to go in for your yearly review? Stupid brain. I need to kill more of you with beer.

Today's Mood Is...

You mess with me, you mess with my whole family!

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Another Damn Sports Blog is back to coincide with the return of football (okay, it's preseason football, but STILL!!!!!). Head on over there, and if you do not see an entry for today come back later because I am working on it right now!

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Go over to the sports blog (the original recipe, not the extra crispy Orioles only blog), and you will see what I mean.

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troof.

Karma rears its ugly Kryptonian head

I forgot what I put on here yesterday when I posted these here today. It wasn't supposed to be a theme, but I guess it is now...so I am going to continue it.

Superfriends meets Friends

THIS is the reason that Al Gore invented the intarwebs. He just didn't know it at the time.

Superfriends meets Friends - episode 2

I cannot believe it, but this is actually MORE awesome than the 1st one. FULL...OF...WIN

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You know something, Superman? You're a real asshole when you're drunk.

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My theatre geek friends will get this...

le sigh...

I think by now most regular readers (all 4 of you) and even occasional lurkers (the other 7 or 8) know that the dental office where I used to be employed (and who now just get on my nerves) deal with a lot of special needs patients. And you would think that when you deal with special needs patients and their various maladies that the more common ones would become easy to identify and categorize.

But you would be wrong.

At least, if the notes on the patient that I just finished making an insurance appeal for are any indication. You see, it seems that this patient is in a wheelchair, because they suffer from Cereble Palsey.

Try reading that in the voice of Charles "That's Turrible" Barkley in order to get the full effect.

Sometimes, words fail even ME.

Today's Mood Is...

500 points to anyone who figures this one out.

If you are completely stumped, there is a hint in the file name, then you have to think about a guy who could make a guest appearance on the Flintstone's without ever having to "Stone Age-ify" his name.

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IT'S RAINING SIDEWAYS!

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And I would go to confession EVERY DAY.

Can you imagine how much tastier Communion would be?

Good Advice

So, in order to do my job, I have to access the "extranet" for the hospital where I used to work. On Friday, they decided to run utilities for the software that the dental office (and I) use. It was supposed to take 45 minutes to an hour.

It is now almost 1 PM on Monday (ignore the post time, I had to backtime it to get it under the Mood post for today).

We are quickly approaching the end of the month, and I am still on the 15th for deposits that have to be entered. The deposit we got today was over $31K all by itself. As it stands, if the thing is working by today I might wind up staying late just to try and get the 15th finished before I call it a day. And I had scheduled myself to be off of BOTH jobs this weekend. I was very much looking forward to having a day or two where I did not have to leave the house and go off and deal with a bunch of responsibilities. Now I might not have a choice but to be here all day Saturday AND Sunday. OF course, I won't be getting paid for it, because I have to sit here with my metaphorical thumb up my metaphorical ass, not able to do anything, but getting paid for it. So that means that this weekend would be playing catch up. But it isn't like I can stay home this week waiting for the problem to be fixed. So I have to sit at my desk, staring at the wall, waiting for the call / email telling me to get the hell back to work, and then come in on the weekend (if the problem is even fixed by then. If the one person that we talked to in the I.T. department at the hospital is correct, then I might wind up WEEKS behind. And that could lead to even MORE fun.

In the meantime, I am following the dog's advice. What the hell do I have to lose?

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I bet there are some multi-colored eggs hidden underneath him!

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now he needs a Krystallnuk

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And THAT's real, yo.

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In the Midnight hour, they cried Mao, Mao, Mao...

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and the cars on parsley, sage, and rosemary.

...you're welcome. By the way, if you are not supposed to be online at work you might want to close your browser reeal quick. I am quite sure the entire office just heard your groan after reading that little cartoon and there is no doubt that the boss (or the nosy co-worker who likes to rat people out in order to curry favor - and curry was not meant to be another groaner, but as soon as I typed it I thought that it read that way, so apologies for that, too) is on the way over to see why you made that noise.

If I have to suffer today, so do you!

Today's Mood Is...

with a bonus helping of...

I am running statements for the dental office, which, due to my being on the extranet from a rather remote location in approximation to the servers and other technical mumbo jumbo, makes it so that it takes the better part of 4 or 5 hours to accomplish this task. And until it is done, I can do nothing else. So I am surfing the intarwebs and generally looking for things to occupy my time. So you can only imagine how happy I was when some bot saw me online and decided to start a conversation. As always, names are changed to protect the "innocent"...

Robot Whore: Hey

BSR: hi

Robot Whore: hey there cutie???

BSR: yes, it is me

Robot Whore: who is this again? Sorry I don't recognize the name lol

BSR: well since you messaged me, who do you want me to be?

Robot Whore: Oh Ok LOL,Nice!how you doin??

BSR: My name is LOL, then? Very meta. I am well. How are ye, friend of LOL?

Robot Whore: Leanne is my real name but all my friends call me Lia

BSR: I shall call you ROF-L, for you are from Krypton's funny colony.

Robot Whore: I'm actually working right now what are you doing exactly??

BSR: I am also working. My corporate overlords are stern taskmasters. They no longer provide french vanilla non-dairy creamer in the break room!!!!!

Robot Whore: nice, nothin I work from home just starting doing these cam shows It's pretty fun actually lol

BSR: I question your sentence structure and use of capitalization (or lack thereof). Do you imbibe on your job?

Robot Whore: I am a little busy right now cant really talk here but I would LOVE if you came to watch and give me some company, and maybe a GOOD rating ??

BSR: l am also busy, as well as sufferingf through the indignity of having to use hazelnut.

Robot Whore: well I think i have my free friend's pass lyin here one sec babe.. I mean would you want it??

BSR: free is good, especially in these tough economic times. Could I trade it for a crust of bread to feed my poor child Cosette?

Robot Whore: yes its free

BSR: oh, Cosette will enjoy a meal that is not from a soup kitchen or dumpster. Please let me have this free pass, for it sounds like pure GOLD!

Robot Whore: of course, i jsut like to be safe

BSR: I do as well, but when one is as poor as me, safety takes a back seat to not letting your child starve. Especially since I have to buy ny own french vanilla non-dairy creamer for my coffee, now.

Robot Whore: are you busy?

BSR: well, l am due for my weekly flogging at 11, but l have some free time right now

Robot Whore: yes its free

BSR: that has been established. Are you not able to procure it?

Robot Whore: yup, I do got another pass left!..YAY.. just please don't tell anyone else I can get in trouble. What color panties should I put on for you sexy, i'll let you pick! LOL

BSR: maybe salmon colored? It has been so long since I have had anything other than the gristle of the rich

Robot Whore: k lol .. You joining me ?

BSR: are you going to give me this free pass to dinner?

Robot Whore: yes its free

BSR: that is the third time you have said that. Why must you dangle this carrot of opportunity just out of my grasp? Oh to have a carrot right now...

Robot Whore: Ok, go to http://#@$%&*$#$%#@!@#$&^$%#$.com/COOLGIRL scroll all the way down to the bottom babe, and you will see "friends of ME", click that and when you get the password page, put in the password: "mom" okay?

BSR: "mom"? No, I'm sorry. I may be hungry, and my coffee may be woefully lacking full flavor, but l cannot condone that kind of amoralistic behavior!

Robot Whore: yup, fill out your info, make sure you put your correct b-day k?

BSR: It is most certainly NOT "k"!

Robot Whore: k, if you entered as my friend, it should say 0.00, if so you are good for my free friend's pass dont worry about the autorenew the pass cancels all charges

BSR: I am going to have to end this conversation, but I must tell you that I will be reporting this ungodly activity to Child Protective Services!

Robot Whore: CC is just to verify your age hun,its the sites policy to ensure no minors get access to the site .. i gave u my free friend's pass

BSR: I SAID GOOD DAY!

And how has your day been so far?

Today's Mood Is...

RESPEK!

The day it all went to hell

Started with 2 bosses on vacation, continued with one coworker walking out on the job because of a work issue, and now the cherry on top is Doo Wop singing "Da Butt" as she processes claims.

And I still have another job to go to after this...

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...well? What are you waiting for?

In order to do my job, I have to get on the UMMS Extranet. On a good day, it is slow, with occasional bouts of molasses. Today, with pretty much the entire office streaming CNN to watch the Michael Jackson funeral (I don't know why they can't just gather around one computer. It isn't like any of the bosses are around, and it has been established that they are not doing any work. Why the pretense?), the Extranet is moving at the approximate speed of the Tortoise from the Merrie Melodies Bugs Bunny version of the Tortoise and the Hare. It is taking me almost 10 minutes to post one payment and insurance write-off (at average speed I get one in every 1-2 minutes depending on how quickly the system pulls the name up for me). I am quickly checking out while sitting here, and the lag time is making it easy for me to write off today as "unproductive" and just drift into the ethers until 4:30, when I have to leave for Bullseye Inc.

Well, I was. Until something happened that, ever so briefly pulled me from the sweet embrace of apathy and dragged me kicking and screaming back into Purgatory Present. Urkel's Mom (who most definitely DOES NOT have it going on) came in.

And she started talking...

Apparently the water at the Inner Harbor was more of an aqua then pure blue.

Anyone who lives here surprised to hear this?

For those that don't, I would trend to the thought that the water being "aqua" colored is a step in the right direction, especially sine the default color for many years has been some blue-brownish chum scented spectrum not known to nature. At least aqua is a synonym for water. That is an improvement.

Is it PC to say that the water is "colored"?

Today's Mood Is...

Well, to be more precise, numbers are changing. Number as in addresses. Addresses as in places you are going to want to frequent.

HEED THE COMING MATH, OR REAP THE WHIRLWIND!

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Too busy to get into details. Maybe tomorrow.

Maybe not.

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I find any loss of life to be sad, even if the person "lived a full life", and even if the loss of life ends pain and suffering for the person and their family (like it did when my grandfather passed years back).

For some reason, "celebrities" (I use " " because the idea of celebrity is an ephemeral concept at best) have been dropping like flies lately. Bea Arthur, Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson...so much for the rule of 3's eh?

I do have to say that as a person who observes and comments on society, and as a comedian, I will particularly miss Billy Mays. He got that his "fame" was all about the character and he never took himself seriously (we call people famous for selling crap who get an inflated sense of self "Vila"s). He laughed at the fact that people knew who he was (just watch the ESPN 360 commercials).

RIP Pitch Man.

Today's Mood Is...

...

It has been a long week here in the world of BSR. I am (hopefully) in the final stages of re-financing the house (and knocking a decade or so off of the mortgage), Drop Three is busy prepping for Artscape, and then there is the usual litany of day to day annoyances that always pop up, no matter who you are.

I am pretty sure that I have mentioned in the past that Wifey and I "talk" during the day by way of instant messenger. Otherwise we would probably go days without any real conversation of any kind with the way our schedules overlap.

I will acknowledge that the written word is often harder to translate than the spoken word. Especially the intent behind the words. Wifey and I have taken great pains to make sure we express ourselves face to face when we have an issue with one another, so that the intention behind the words is not lost or mistranslated.

However, when things are going well, you get things like this (IM names changed to protect the "innocent"...

Wifey: You are silly!

Me: l am punchy

Wifey: So am I!

Wifey: But mine is from lack of sleep, not crazy.

Me: then go back to sleep

Me: as is mine

Wifey: Your's is too, but you have an added layer of crazy.

Me: nope

Wifey: Nope, I'm getting CRABS!

Me: mine is all from lack of sleep

Obviously, I was typing my last post as Wifey was dropping THAT particular bombshell on me. Now in her defense, she posted THIS a moment later...

Wifey: Mom is bringing CRABS AND BEER!

But still, knowing that I am a bit bushed, don't you think there is a better way that could have been stated originally? That is NOT what you want to hear what your spouse (or any intimate partner) say to you.

Qualifiers at the BEGINNING of the declaration from now on, please!

Today's Mood Is...

You would be hard pressed to find someone who TRULY LIKES their job. True there are those who derive both a paycheck and a level of psychic income from their professions, but most of us are more about the bonus as a reward than we are the satisfaction of a job well done as another nameless, faceless drone in the world of cubicles and call centers (and when you are as lucky as me, those two worlds are combined!). I also think it is a safe bet to say that no one here in Purgatory is here for the love of the A/R - Medical Billing game. And when you have people who work for the money more than for the job satisfaction, and the bosses are off gallivanting about doing what owners do (18 holes comes to mind), some of those people are going to start talking.

I am all for venting. I do it to / with my friends, they do it to / with me. It is healthy to get frustrations out before they build up to a toxic level and then when someone parks in that spot that YOU ALWAYS PARK IN (even if there is no assigned parking at your job) AND EVERYBODY KNOWS I ALWAYS PARK THERE AND WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...well, it is better to get it out before there is a Thriller-inspired fight scene in the break room (I thought they told you not to come around here!).

But what people have to realize is that while some venting is healthy, you chose to work here as much as they chose to hire you. You had to apply for the job, and accept their job offer. If things are as bad as what two particular people say they are, specifically Doo Wop and Razzle Dazzle (so named because she can go behind your back like Magic Johnson during the heyday of Showtime in L.A.), it gets a bit much. I would like some things to be different, too. And I make my feelings known to those who need to know. But for 20 minutes (and that is not an exaggeration, Ms. Gaza Strip Club. I checked the clock) they were on a diatribe against everything about this job.

So go find another one. Good luck. Me? I have too many bills to pay to leave just yet. Unless I find something better (I am still waiting on my corporate sponsorship here. I use a LOT of products in my every day life and I would be glad to extol their virtues here, while I am out, on my vehicle, as a T-shirt or some other tasteful clothing options...I am open to negotiation here). If you have something better for me, please bring it here tout sweet.

Until then, I will keep plugging away here and making the best of a sometimes bad situation. And drinking to make it go away. THAT'S the American way!

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Because that is how I roll on Mondays.

You got a problem with that?

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At first I was all like...

...but then I was all like...

Apparently a circuit breaker blew on me yesterday at some point in the morning (it turned out to be temporary, just wait, I'll get to it). I went to Home Depot to get a replacement, but got the wrong kind. It had been a long day in a long week, and since all that particular circuit breaker controlled was the lights in the ceiling of the first floor (kitchen / living room / dining room) but didn't affect the outlets (still had power to fridge, computer, television), I said "screw it, I'll get the right one tomorrow in between jobs and go from there.

The light switch in the kitchen was installed sideways. Why? Because the electrician who set up this house was on whatever passed for crack in the 1940's. This is important in a moment...

Mommo-in-law came by yesterday morning to do some laundry and take care of The Dog of Ultimate EVOL for a while (this is how I found out about the electricity problem, a I called her to tell her that there was something in the fridge for her to take home with her, and after she told me of the problem we agreed to avoid opening the fridge until I could document that the fridge was working on keeping the stuff in it as viable vittles). I am guessing that as she discovered the problem of the not having lights and ceiling fans that worked she moved through the house to see the extent of the problem (since it was the middle of the day she didn't need the lights on to see, I know that for sure). And since the light switch in the kitchen is sideways, it is not obvious to anyone if the switch is in the on or off position if the light is not working. That is why I almost had an accident in the bed at 4 this morning.

"Whatever do you mean, Ron?"

I am glad you asked.

Our bedroom is in the basement. During the winter (or whenever it is cold enough that Wifey wants to use the space heater, which means any temperature below 78 Fahrenheit), we close the door to the basement in order to keep the heat where we are. But when it DOES warm up past Wifey heating standards, we leave the basement door OPEN, so that the heat can escape up the stairs and away from us. And since the door to the basement is in the kitchen, and at some time around 4AM today the circuit breaker re-set itself (hence the temporary thing from before), the light in the kitchen suddenly came on.

Larry the Upstairs Neighbor is not known for coming into our part of the house unannounced at 4 in the morning. Besides the point that I had closed and locked the door to our part of the house earlier. Wifey is somewhere north of the Mason Dixon line, living the high life. So it is just me and Evol Dog (and Typhoid Mary the cat) in our part of the house. Neither of them can reach the switch, let alone turn it on. Plus, they were both in the bed when it happened. And to be honest, at 4AM the fact that the light was not working earlier is not the first thing you think of.

The first thing you think of is "BURGLAR!". Or to be precise "BURGLAR WITH A NIGHT VISION PROBLEM!!!!!".

So after I was shocked awake by lights suddenly coming on in my house, and after I calmed my bladder down (home intrusion is not time for a piss break, ya know?), I grabbed my Mag Lite flashlight (the 6 cell one that is perfect for braining some idiot with) and the 4 inch think dowel rod that is about the length of a long nunchuk handle, and made my way to a place where I could see up the stairs, and I listened for activity (I also grabbed my phone and dialed 9-1, with my finger on the 1 in order to complete the call as soon as I heard them unplugging and moving my television). After 5 minutes or so of hearing nothing but the fans in the basement running (and beginning to do the pee pee bounce dance), I ventured up the stairs and found that everything was exactly where I left it, it was just better illuminated than before. EVOL dog gave me a look of "since we're up here, how about some Snausages for my trouble?". I turned off the lights, went back downstairs and took a leak that would have made Ogre in Revenge of the Nerds 2 jealous.

This is why I am drinking my grandfather's favorite coffee this morning.

Today's Mood Is...

Verbatim.

Today's Mood Is...

So I am driving into work this morning, and as is my wont I am flipping through the stations trying to find something that will pique my interest enough to keep me from turning the car around and going right the hell back to bed (a little war I fight pretty much every day. I am at work right now, but I don't know if that means that I won or lost this particular war).

Eventually I tuned into 102.7 (for you non-locals that means I was listening to "The Jack"). As I approached the toll booths for the Ft. McHenry Tunnel, an old song from my hair band listening past came blaring through my speakers. At first I sang along, until I started paying attention to the lyrics. And THAT is when I felt a little repulsed at not thinking about this sooner.

The song? She's Only 17 by Winger. Just in case you are not among the initiated, here are the lyrics, courtesy of gugalyrics(dot)com...

I saw sparks fly, from the corner of my eye

And when I turned, it was love at first sight

I said please excuse me, I didn't catch your name

Oh it'd be a shame not to see you again

And just when I thought she was comin' to my door

She whispered sweet and brought me to the floor, she said

I'm only seventeen, but I'll show you love like you've never seen

She's only seventeen, daddy says she's too young, but she's old enough for me

Come to my place, we can talk it over, oh everything going down in your head

She said take it easy, I need some time, time to work it out, to make you mine

And just when I thought she was comin' to my door

She whispered sweet and brought me to the floor, she said

I'm only seventeen, you ain't seen love, ain't seen nothing like me

She's only seventeen, seventeen

Such a bad girl, loves to work me overtime

Feels good (ha), dancin' close to the borderline

She's a magic mountain, she's a leather glove

Oh she's my soul, it must be love

She's only seventeen, still she gives me love, like I've never seen

She's only seventeen, daddy says she's too young, but she's old enough for me

She's everything I need, daddy says she's too young

But she's old enough, old enough for me

Classy, ain't it?

And people wonder why "grunge" took off like it did.

Today's Mood Is...

I know it is Friday, and I know that many of us (myself included) do not function well until a decent amount of coffee has been

• Consumed

and

• Processed for it's life giving caffeine

but that doesn't preclude someone who just knows something, but knows it incorrectly. For instance, I have a good friend who always says "supposably" instead of "supposedly". He has no idea he is wrong, and it is one of those things that you just have to shake off.

I was sitting here in Purgatory this morning, and for some reason the topic du jour was jury duty. Why? Hell if I know. I walked into it. One of the Hens was going off about it, which got Limpy the IT Genius going. THAT brought in X-TERN and Snorty McSnifflesnot, and soon the entire cast was going on about serving on a jury, the "pay" (apparently after a week they bump your jury pay to $50 a day!), packing lunch versus going out for lunch while you are downtown, leg cramps forcing judges to allow extra recesses, and inevitably to parking downtown versus taking the bus. And THAT is what led to my favorite misspeak of the week, when one of my coworkers (who is remarkable in the fact that she has been so unremarkable while I have worked here that I have no idea what to nickname her, so for now I will call her Question 2, Electric Bugaloo) stating that people are going up to cars and removing their Cadillac Converters right from cars that are parked in garages downtown.

I didn't know I had one of those, since I drive a Daimler/Chrysler/Chapter 11 vehicle. But forewarned is forearmed, so I am going to be taking extra precautions with my Caddy Converter from now on.

PYA, people!

Today's Mood Is...

Well? Get to fearin'!

Today's Mood Is...

Yeah!

HEY! Wait just a damn minute!

Today's Mood Is...

So I have a friend who filed for bankruptcy, which is not an easy thing to do when you take pride in the fact that you are not prone to take help when you are in trouble. It is part of that ephemeral, rapidly disappearing American spirit of lifting yourself up by your bootstraps and digging in. But this person realized that this was not a battle they had brought on themselves, that this was not a thoughtless schmuck running up credit cards and then running away from their responsibility, but that they were hit by a confluence of events that would give any person more than a couple moments of pause, and for the sake of their sanity and in order to allow themselves a fresh start this was the right thing for them to do. Last week they went to court to finalize everything. And as far as they knew, they were done with the whole thing and could now work towards moving on with their life.

That is when their lawyer called.

It turns out they have to take a 2 hour or so online exit class (for lack of a better term) in order to truly finalize this whole situation. Now why has this elicited shocked monkeys / cats / pandas from me?

Because they have to pay $50 for the course.

So what the federal government is telling them is "Hey, I know you had something tragic happen to you that put you in a position where you have to eat a good bit of crow and swallow some serious pride in order to get your life back in order. And we agree to allow you to tell all of these people that you are no longer going to pay them and that there isn't Jack Squat they can do about it. But give us $50 in addition to all of your lawyer's fees. KTHXBAI!"

WTF, government? W...T...F?

Today's Mood Is...

Respect and Represent, FOOLS!

Today's Mood Is...