Today's Mood Is...

...with a second, flavorful side dish loaded with...

...and no, I do not do any tech support. Of all the levels of hell that my jobs put me through, I am very thankful that THAT isn't one of them

However, I have decided to actively pursue a job with the state. Not only are they off for EVERY damn holiday that exists (and at least 7 that they made up just so they could be off those days, too), but they also don't have to give a shit about what anyone thinks of them. Case in point...

I have been having a problem with a patient that has a fairly common first and last name. It seems that they share a birthday with another person with the same first and last name. However the other one (or as I am calling her, the Doppelganger) MY patient has Medicaid through the State of Maryland. The Doppelganger had Medicaid through the State of New Jersey.

You see where this is going, right?

I have spent the last 47 minutes in a loop of "please to be holding" mixed with random ringing then going back into the queue for more waiting.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Today's Mood Is...

In another shining example of "We Better Not Offend Anyone Who Is Too Stupid To Know That What We Are Saying Is Not Offensive"...

I found out last night that Bullseye Inc. is not calling the Friday after Thanksgiving "Black Friday" this year. No sirree, they are calling it "Green Friday". Why green? Hell if I know. Why not black? Because they are afraid that someone will construe the name as being racially insensitive.

I tell you, the rampant stupidity being shown over something as innocuous as "Black Friday" is making me feel positively niggardly about spending my Christmas money there.

BTW - I don't know who the scary pointing man in the picture is. I didn't even notice him at first. I did a GIS for "Green Friday" and this came up (along with another picture I am going to post in a moment). Until I added the text I didn't even know he was there. Sorry if he weirds you out. He weirds me out, too.

BSR

Today's Mood Is...

...with a side of...

Before I get all whiny and bitchy/moany, let me say that lately Blogger has had a habit of putting pictures not in the order I selected them in, which is making me work harder at being cute / snarky. It is bad enough that we can no longer make the post time later (just earlier, which, while minor, is annoying to me), now it is taking creative licence with my picture posting? WTF Blogger?

Okay, now back to our regularly scheduled whining...

I am genetically predisposed to being piled on. I am pretty sure that in a previous life I was a pack animal of some kind, and I am pretty sure that I was a damn good one. So I can take a lot of abuse and not snap (but inside I am a churning mass of retort). This makes me uniquely qualified to work in corporate America and also work in thankless retail establishments (so I got THOSE bases covered, at least). Well, it is being put to the test today...

I have mentioned the Brothers Chinn before. There is a good brother and a bad brother. By that I mean that one brother is the kind of guy I would go out and grab a beer with. The other one is a guy who signs my checks. Evil Brother isn't NECESSARILY evil, but he does not have a whole lot of interpersonal skills and does not know how to talk to employees. So that is why he spends most of his time in his office in the back of the facility, down the Warning Hallway (that hallway in every spooky / scary movie that makes your guts scream "For the love of God, DO NOT GO DOWN THIS HALLWAY!!! BADNESS IS AT THE END OF THIS HALLWAY!!! TURN AROUND AND GO BANG THAT CHEERLEADER IN THE BACK OF THE VAN PARKED BY THE LAKE!!! NOTHING BAD CAN HAPPEN IF YOU ONLY DO THAT!!!).

Well, Good Brother Chinn is away on vacation. To make matters worse, Ed (our 1st line of defense / floor supervisor) is off today, so it is Evil Brother Chinn and the IT guy, who is too busy being distracted by the women he either sits next to or smokes with (he may be married, but he never got past that 14 year old guy's fascination with tits. It makes him completely ineffectual as a leader) to do anything. So EBC was sitting in GBC's chair here amongst us commoners / data entry bitchslaves on the floor when two Friends of BSR (FOBSR) were chatting away across the walkway in between cubicles. EBC did not like that and reprimanded them. But he didn't do it with any sort of tact. Which has led to our current situation.

A group of people sitting here saying that they will not be talked to like that (when in reality they already were and will be so again unless they find another job in between now and EBC's next foray into Commonerville). It is one of the things you have to put up with when you work for a living. Shut up and deal with it.

EBC will not be doing any more reprimanding for the time being, since his (and GBC's as well) Mom is sitting amongst us. She helps out with the data entry and is famous for telling stories (something about old Irish moms needing to regale people). He really cannot rebuke his employees for listening to his mother ramble on about washing socks (not kidding. THAT is the subject of the conversation right now). I figure most sensible people would want nothing to do with that conversation normally, but since it involves not working and tacitly pissing off EBC, the staff is enraptured with the tale.

I, on the other hand, am just sitting here "working". Looks good from a distance, and that is all that matters right now, the appearance of a bunch of people sitting around on company time, talking back and forth, and there is good old BSR sitting quietly at his computer, typing away, entering data like a good soldier.

Andre Agassi was right after all.

BSR

Today's Mood Is...

I am not a big believer in omens or portents or any crap like that. But this morning I left the house without my beloved coffee mug, a mug that I had taken the time to fill with loving care and precision, filled with my precious coffee, some flavorful cream, and a touch of artificial sweetener.

It's gonna be a bad day.

BSR

Today's Mood Is...

Organized begging in quasi-celebration of a pagan harvesting day will probably have begun by the time you read this. The only redeeming factor that I can currently see to this is that if the current economic climate it might be beneficial to teach the kiddies that begging for handouts is okay. After all, coal faced street urchins are more apt to get those crusts of bread you will need to feed your family.

So start dressing the little bastards up and send 'em on over to our house! I won't be home, but Wifey and Momm-o-in-law will be (Wifey is going all out for her costume this year. She is going to be the "I don't give a rat's ass about this stupid damn holiday and I want you off my damn property but my husband bought three freaking jumbo-sized bags of fun sized Skittles and / or Starburst and what the hell is so fun about fun sized anyway but wait I got off track so anyway he bought all this damn candy and if you don't send your spawn up to mooch for it I will wind up eating it and I will feel all bloated and will need a root canal and why the hell didn't he get good candy like chocolate so I could have turned off all the lights in the house and hid in the bedroom with the TV and my mom and we could have spent the whole night watching BBC America and eating miniature Hershey bars and since I am already chocolate colored he would not have known EVER and I would have had a much more satisfying evening I mean really Skittles why the hell do I want to taste a rainbow when I can taste chocolate and peanut butter dammit!!!!")

And believe me that is not an easy costume to find in ANY store or thrift shop.

Happy Halloween my minions.

BSR

Today's Mood Is...

There are certain things that you like to hear coming from the lips of the love of your life. When the love of your life is lying in bed, naked, there is a different list of things that you might want to hear. But no matter what it is, I can pretty much guarantee that there is one thing that you DO NOT want to hear coming from the lips of the love of your life...

Mommy?

Now, to be fair, it was early this morning while I was getting dressed for work, and Wifey was still sleeping. And it was dark (I turn on the light in the utility room in order to have enough light to see but not so that it is so bright that it wakes / bothers her). And it is a good possibility that she had been having a dream that involved her mother and was still 77% asleep while she started to mumblespeak. But that doesn't make it any less creepy when it happens.

I really wasn't sure how to respond to that, so the first time she said it I just stood there (having frozen in my spot when asked the question). I hoped that it would be a one time deal and then she would go back to sleep and I could continue on with my preparations. But the second time she said it, with a good bit more fervor...

I was THIS close (my fingers are about 1/2 millimeter apart right now) to getting my best early morning falsetto going and answering her, just to see what would happen. But since I was afraid that I would blow my vocal cords first thing in the morning, I instead lowered my voice to my best James Earl Jones level and said "Nope". At that point Wifey decided to end the conversation herself and rolled over.

I got dressed, made my liter of coffee and left. But for the first time in a long time, I wasn't doing any yawning on the way to work. Being mistaken for a small, older black woman can do that for a thirty-something white guy. It wakes you up pretty well, at least the first time that it happens...

BSR

Can you tell I was on hold for a while this morning?

As always, all dialogue verbatim...

odis.sweetruabxpnznvqxnkwq: hi

bgddy24601: hi

odis.sweetruabxpnznvqxnkwq: Hi, im Kimberly

bgddy24601: hello Kimberly, I am Lothar, of the Hill People

odis.sweetruabxpnznvqxnkwq: i moved here from outta town, Christina gave me ur info

bgddy24601: Christina is good woman. Wide birthing hips. Do you have wide birthing hips?

odis.sweetruabxpnznvqxnkwq: I hope that was ok, she said u were allot of fun

bgddy24601: I am fun. I provide meat and shelter to many concubines.

odis.sweetruabxpnznvqxnkwq: Hey a few friends of ours are gonna meet up this week, wanna come with?

bgddy24601: If there are any other males there, I will smite them to prove my dominance and alpha status.

odis.sweetruabxpnznvqxnkwq: Hi, im Stephanie ­

bgddy24601: hello Stephanie. Do you come with Kimberly? Lothar is a fan of multiple partners.

odis.sweetruabxpnznvqxnkwq: i moved here from outta town, Alyssa gave me ur info

bgddy24601: Alyssa displeased me so I had her beheaded. I kept her corpse on my wall as a warning to others not to get too lippy with Lothar

odis.sweetruabxpnznvqxnkwq: I hope that was ok, she said u were allot of fun

bgddy24601: I am more fun than beheaded former concubines who talk too much and are unable to provide me with a male heir.

odis.sweetruabxpnznvqxnkwq: Hey a few friends of ours are gonna meet up this week, wanna come with?

bgddy24601: I will gladly take both you, Kimberly, and all other fertile women you have at your disposal.

odis.sweetruabxpnznvqxnkwq: check out my profile www.%6c%6fnl%65%79-h%6frney%2dwi%76%65%73.%63om let me know if u wanna join us

bgddy24601: LOTHAR MUST BREED PRODIGIOUSLY!!!!!!

odis.sweetruabxpnznvqxnkwq: im tired of my toys, wanna come play with me www.%64i%73c%72e%74%2do%6e%65%2dni%67%68t.com

bgddy24601: I do not play. I win.

odis.sweetruabxpnznvqxnkwq: To remove your Yahoo! ID visit http://affiliatediamond.net/unsubscribe.asp

bgddy24601: I will visit nothing. You will bring your willing flesh to Lothar!

Today's Mood Is...

Which is being caused by THIS...

WANT!!!!!!!!!!

I neglected to mention yesterday that I had to make a bank run, and since my nearest branch is 25 minutes away, I decided to stop and grab some lunch on the way back.

One of those places that I grew up going to (and the place where I had my first ever "real" job) was Hardee's. I worked there 20 years ago, when they were making a big push to expand out of the South and into the Northeast. They (unfortunately just like Krispy Kreme) ended up failing and pulling back. But there are still a few bastions of ginormous-osity, and one is not too far from one of the branches of my bank (the fact that it is right down the street from a hospital is also rather fitting).

I was having a craving for a Mushroom and Swiss (the Mush-n-Swiss from Hardee's is LEGENDARY), so I parked the car and went to walk in (I don't care that gas has gone down $2/gallon in the last month and a half, I am not wasting the money to do the drive-thru). And THAT is when I saw the sign in the window for the PORK CHOP AND GRAVY BISCUIT.

It is just my luck that it is a breakfast only sandwich. But imagine (if you will) a boneless pork chop, breaded and deep fried like chicken, then put on a homemade biscuit and smothered on both sides by sausage gravy...

I will give you a moment to wipe the drool from your keyboard as I am doing to mine.

Oh. My. GOD. As much as I do not want to wake up any earlier than absolutely, legally necessary on ANY given day I can see myself setting the alarm sometime soon on a weekend day and picking up a few of these. I understand that if you buy 4 you get a coupon for 50% off your next angioplasty. How can you turn down a bargain like that?

BSR

BTW - the Frisco burger at Hardees is also damn tasty. Just sayin'.

HOLY CRAP!!

Look what we did!

I would like to thank all four of my loyal readers, and to everyone who happens to stop by every now and then or has stumbled upon this bit of self masturbatory time wasting and spent a few minutes trying to figure out why I don't use the spellchecker more often for making me feel like I need to keep coming back here and doing this instead of actually performing tasks for the employers who so begrudgingly almost pay my bills after taxes.

Huzzah!

BSR

Today's Mood Is...

One major life annoyance down, one to go...

So Narrow Face got canned on Friday. The toughest part of Friday after I found out? Trying to look neutral about it to the masses here in Cubicle 2- Electric Bugalloo land (I gave up on trying to look sad and/or concerned about it. Even I am not that good of an actor, and I think I am pretty damn good at it).

So no more JACK-FM and nasally whining making me want to shoot her in the face with a bazooka. I am sure there will be others who will annoy me (I am easily annoyed by inanity and willful stupidity. It's a flaw of mine), but for now it is free and clear.

But there is still the truck issue. I got the gas line fixed, so there is no more leak (someone pointed out to me that it is probably an EXTRA good thing that I quit smoking back when I did, since smoking while sitting in a car leaking gas, no matter how minimal the leak, is probably not the best way to spend either my disposable income OR my time). However, the hesitation is still happening. I was hoping that it was just a by-product of the car needing to rebuild the lost pressure in the gas line, but it seems that isn't the case. So now I have to call the repair shop back and see if they can look at it again this coming Saturday (and frankly I am getting tired of spending my money AND my Saturdays getting my car fixed). So for every silver lining, there is still a black cloud.

Lunch hour is ending, time to get back to work.

BSR

Today's Mood Is...

Narrow-Face has spent the better part of the last hour and 9 minutes (whenever she wasn't on the phone) wishing EVERYONE in here "TGIF Everybody!" then looking rather smug at how witty she is.

I have been known to have "A Case of the Mondays" from time to time. But I might have the first ever case of the Fridays. And if the situation doesn't rectify itself, and that right soon, I might have a case of justifiable homicide. I can just see myself walking around like DeNiro saying "Part. Of. A. Team."

Why oh why did I leave my Louisville Slugger at home?

BSR

Today's OTHER Mood Is...

THIS is what I want to do to that damn radio she has playing "Jack-FM".

A lot.

Another great idea comes to fruition

So we are in the midst of a recession. The pundits might not want to say it, but I will. We. Are. In. A. Recession. To the point that I am no longer as confident that I am going to cut back a shift at Bullseye Inc. after the 1st of the year, or that I will be leaving there after the holiday season of 2009. I am going to see how this all plays out. If I am lucky enough to have 2 jobs when a lot of people can't even find one, I am not going to cut off my nose to spite my face.


To make it even more clear, we are in the midst of a GLOBAL recession. Markets are spiraling down around the world, stock futures are not being allowed to be traded, and the NYSE might even have to put the brakes on trading altogether for the 1st time since 1997. Why am I telling you all of this (when odds are you already know all of this)?


Because THIS is the climate that Towson Town Center decided to use as the backdrop to open their "high end luxury wing".


For those too lazy to read the article, here are the highlights:

• Burberry, Pottery Barn and Crate & Barrel opened in the new wing yesterday
• Louis Vuitton and apparel retailer Lacoste will open next summer
• Restaurants P.F. Chang's and the Cheesecake Factory also began serving yesterday
• Some analysts say they have heard that Tiffany's is considering moving to the mall
• Other stores that have opened or will open soon are Sephora, BCBG Max Azria, Bose, Fossil, Lucky Brand and Martin + Osa

All bullet points are directly copied and pasted from the article. Any misspellings / incorrect information is solely the responsibility of the fact checker of the Baltimore Sun.

Now I know I am not, nor have I ever been one of those affluent people that buys overpriced, useless crap because of the label on / in it. I am one of those middle class people that buys decently priced / sale priced useless crap without giving a crap about the name on the label. But THESE two people make me shake my head...

Maria Lugl, a Towson homemaker whose husband is an architect, bought two clutches from the Coach store, a pair of designer jeans from Martin + Osa and a slipcover from Pottery Barn. She's happy she soon won't have to travel as far for the brands she likes."The guys at the Louis Vuitton store in Chevy Chase are going to miss me," the 29-year-old said. Angela Lang, who was carrying a Burberry purse yesterday, said she likes upscale stores but it's difficult to travel too far for shopping with her 5-year daughter and 2-year-old son."We've been waiting for great shopping for a long time," said 33-year-old Lang, who lives in Fork. "I'm anxious to see what else is coming."

You know what I am anxious to see coming? The bottom of the stock plunge, so I can know if I should wipe my mouth with my latest 401K breakdown, or if I should just wipe my ass with it. THAT would be nice to know.

Today's Mood Is...

(with a tip o' the shirt to C3PO for reminding me how awesome this pic is...)

There is a coffee maker in the break room. No charge, no suggested donation, no "drop a quarter in the cup". Just a coffee maker and the creamer and sugar that all the repair shops have (if you have ever taken your vehicle to one of the chain places for tires or a muffler or an oil change or anything like that and had a cup of coffee while you were waiting you know EXACTLY what I am talking about). It has a flavor all its own.

There are 3 or 4 gold tone filters in the break room. We use one at the house. It is great for saving a few bucks and is better for the environment since it is reusable.

There are also regular paper coffee filters in the break room. We also have them at the house. We use them if the gold tone filter is in the sink waiting to be washed and we are feeling too lazy / tired and in need of coffee to wash it, and also to filter the water in the Iced Tea Maker, which we also use to boil / filter water for consumption, since the gold tone won't fit into the smaller basket.

What we DON'T do at the house, however, is use a paper filter IN the gold tone filter. That would be redundant, and a complete waste of resources. However, for some reason that escapes me, it is done here.

I usually don't drink the coffee here (the fact that it makes me feel like I am being forced to work while waiting at Mr. Tire is added reason). I bring a giant mug (I have the 34 oz travel mug in basic black with a metallic band in the middle. But now that I have seen the 52 oz. one, I have a new quest) with coffee that I make in the morning (actually I program the coffee maker the night before) that I like (God is shining down on me, making Dunkin' Donuts coffee available at Bullseye Inc. for large scale purchase, and at a better price than this online site I just shamelessly hotlinked to). But this morning I am dragging a little more than usual, and I forgot to bring my beloved GIGANTOR mug home from work last night (I washed it and left it next to the sink), so I had to break out one of the smaller travel mugs that we have in the house (we probably have 4 or 5 travel mugs total, and that is after Wifey and I pared down our collection after beginning co-habitation) , and have had to refill it a couple of times with coffee that is more Pep Boys than pep giving.

If you have a spare moment (and have a deity that you worship), say a little prayer for my stomach lining that it will survive this swill.

BSR

Today's Mood Is...

BOOBY PICS FTW!

(I hope this doesn't get you in trouble at work...)

BSR

Today's Mood Is...

RIP to the Godfather of rap.

BSR

Return of the Mack...

ulysses.maxwell mivpwvgvmrrc (10/21/2008 3:29:43 PM): zagkq u there

bgddy24601 (10/21/2008 3:30:08 PM): rumblesnort. yes.

ulysses.maxwell mivpwvgvmrrc (10/21/2008 3:30:09 PM): hey, whats going on êÇþâÉ

bgddy24601 (10/21/2008 3:30:39 PM): ...depends. ulysses maxwell is kind of a dude-sounding name

ulysses.maxwell mivpwvgvmrrc (10/21/2008 3:30:40 PM): i got ur info from Alyssa,Á“äÌ´i hope u dont mind

bgddy24601 (10/21/2008 3:31:05 PM): holy shit, how the hell is alyssa? You know she stood me up for a date tomorrow

ulysses.maxwell mivpwvgvmrrc (10/21/2008 3:31:06 PM): I just moved here last week,ìøý§Áand im looking to meet some new people

bgddy24601 (10/21/2008 3:31:32 PM): well ulysses, I am sure there are "alternative" groups out there that would cater to your needs

ulysses.maxwell mivpwvgvmrrc (10/21/2008 3:31:33 PM): she said you were cool,ÂøûÔÆso u wanna meet up? grab a drink... have a lilil fun

bgddy24601 (10/21/2008 3:32:01 PM): umm...dude? seriously, I'm flattered, but my gate don't swing that way, ya dig?

ulysses.maxwell mivpwvgvmrrc (10/21/2008 3:32:03 PM): i got my pix and info here žÎµ³¦http://www.%64i%73c%72%65t%2d%6f%6e%65-ni%67h%74.com check it out, shoot me a message if u think i'm cute

bgddy24601 (10/21/2008 3:32:24 PM): you are a persistent bugger (pun intended), ain'tcha?

ulysses.maxwell mivpwvgvmrrc (10/21/2008 3:32:25 PM): ®“¦“éIm looking to get a lilÊÇĹÖcrazy this week u should come join us°ÕêÏ°http://www.lon%6cey%2dhorn%65y%2dw%69%76es%2e%63%6f%6d

bgddy24601 (10/21/2008 3:32:45 PM): ...

ulysses.maxwell mivpwvgvmrrc (10/21/2008 3:32:46 PM): To remove your ID visit http://affiliatediamond.net/unsubscribe.asp

bgddy24601 (10/21/2008 3:33:10 PM): I am not removing ANYTHING with you around. I don't think that you would respect my personal space.

Today's Mood Is...

Yes, it IS Friday. Yes, I now work in an office that acknowledges and supports the concept of "casual Friday", and have dressed accordingly these last two weeks. YES, I wore one of my Ravens' jerseys today (FYI, it is the Siragusa).

Does that mean that I had to be subjected to Narrow Face and her "So Annoying It Would Make the Biggest Hon of Hampden Run Away Shrieking With Terror" voice serenade me with "Go Ravens" (phonetically, it would be read as "gaow raivinz!")?

I would have hoped the answer would be "no". I would have hoped in vain.

And the Minister of the Obvious strikes again.

tick...tick...tick...

It's going to happen...

So, I was just talking to a few coworkers about...

1. Gay Drink Night (details still forthcoming), and
2. the next Drop 3 Show (November 15th. Reserve your seats now and beat the rush. You know you wanna come see the fun. Why fight it?)

...when, a few minutes after the conversation had wrapped up, Narrow Face came over (with a disregard for personal space rivaled only by JabberJaws herself) and asked me if I had been talking about getting people from the office together for drinks and was it the whole office and yadda yadda yadda.

Here's a news flash for ya, sweetie... IF I WANTED TO INVITE YOU TO SOMETHING I WILL FREAKING INVITE YOU! I WAS TALKING TO THE PEOPLE THAT I WANTED TO TALK TO ABOUT IT! IF YOU REALLY WANT TO PUSH IT YOU WILL FIND OUT EXACTLY WHY YOU WERE NOT ORIGINALLY INCLUDED IN THE CONVERSATION!

So I told her that I was discussing a number of things and that my comedy show and drinking afterwards was a part of it. And that more information will be made available to the entire office when the time comes. Until then speak when spoken to, tyvm.

I brought lunch in today, but all of this is going to drive me right into the sweet embrace of Polock Johnny.

It has begun ANEW...

I have about 90 minutes until I get to leave dayjob (I do not have a better name than that currently for the day job. And I do not feel like putting valuable mind power behind it right now). I do work tonight, but it is with Kathy and Matt and usually pretty low-key and easy. I went to Polock Johnny's for lunch and had two (2) polocks with everything (chili AND the works), a large order of freshly beer battered onion rings, and a jumbo home made, freshly squeezed lemonade. Pretty much the entire office has gone to about 25% work capacity, mainly we are bullshitting back and forth, with small spurts of work blended in for appearance. The Brothers Grimm-Chin (the brothers who own this place have prominent chins) are off being business owners who do not have to be in their office 18 hours a day, 6 days a week. I do not begrudge them that (although I am a bit envious of the freedom they have, it is not with any jealousy mixed in). So for now, everything seems about as copacetic as possible, right?


Spaghetti Sauce (she's pregnant. Or Prego...) just waddled past my desk and dropped off an order form for her daughter's school fund raiser (from the sounds of things, her husband and her are hardcore Catholics, at least when it comes to birth control. I don't know about anything else, but I am glad neither of them are drummers in a band, because they have no method for keeping rhythm). Yes, I have been working here for just under 3 weeks and already I have to buy some freaking candle for some ankle biter that I will (in all likelihood) never meet, but who will, in absentia, be selling me useless shit on average of 2-3 times per semester (why the hell they have to charge so much for private school when they are selling some damn thing every other week as a fund raiser is beyond me. With the way they sell crap on a regular basis the damn kids should get some kind of stipend or commission for all of their hard work. Except for the fact that the parents do all the damn work...).


So I will be waiting patiently for my apple nut muffin scented candle. And silently cursing the skies for not sending me to an office full of sterile women.


4 PM can NOT come soon enough for me.


BSR