Monday, June 25, 2007

Today's Mood Is...

What, too soon?

And my other mood is...

This week is going to be the week of the suck. It is the end of the fiscal year at the hospital, so we are trying to cram as many write-offs in this week as possible. Also, at Bullseye Unlimited (I am nicknaming the night job in a vainglorious attempt to set up a later posting of the rules I must follow about posting about the night job. WHEEEE for the corporate moebius strip!) we have inventory on Friday night into Saturday morning. I volunteered to work inventory back when it was going to be on a Thursday night in August. It got moved due to various company-wide machinations that make no sense to anyone who has sense. Of course, if they had sense, they never would have gotten a job on the board. So there.
Add all that up and you get somewhere around a 90 hour week this week. And to make it even MORE fun, Wifey's birthday is on Thursday. So I am off Wednesday night, and I am going to make her a nice spaghetti dinner and hopefully get her drunk enough to put out without getting so drunk that she passes out and I have to carry her down the stairs. It is a fine line with her and her alcohol tolerance. So wish me luck.
One other thing before I get back to crunching those nasty numbers...I am apparently going to be in a music video. Thy want me to reprise the role that Mick Jagger played in the video of his duet with David Bowie when they covered "Dancin' In The Streets". And before you ask, the woman who cast me is NOT blind or in any way challenged. Nor is she lacking depth perception (or width perception). So when I am on YouTube dancing like Mick Jagger and looking like Mick Jagger crossed with Elvis circa 1975, I'll let you know.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Today's mood is...

Well hello there. I've never seen you here before. Can I buy you a drink?
Bartender...2 saucers of milk!

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Today's Mood Is...

The hills are alive with the sound of Akbar...

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Yeah, I am at it again

But it is so much fun!

Star Trek Meets Monty Python

I do not know if I posted this before. I am too busy to look in all my archives to double check. But what the hell, enjoy anyway.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Today's Mood Is...

Paging Mr. Herman. Mr. Herman you have a telephone call...

Monday, June 11, 2007

Today's Mood Is...

This day's worth of entries into the world of Big Shirtless Ron is officially Hank approved.

The Lady or the Whack Job

Yes, I watched the Sopranos finale last night. Seeing how I own all the box sets except for the Season 6 Part 1 (and a big thanks to Fineous who got me started on collecting them by giving me Season 1 lo those many years ago. EVERY one was worth EVERY penny), and I actually pissed of a co-worker at Target to arrange to have the evening off, I figured I had to. And since I woke up today I have heard a LOT of people complaining about the ending...


Phil Leotardo's death? Possibly the greatest death on the entire show. Not because of his getting shot in the head right in front of his daughter and baby grandkids. That was kinda mean, even if the sumnabitch deserved a gruesome death for all the crap he had been pulling and the incredibly egotistic power play he was on. But because of what happened after he was whacked, with the SUV. I may have spoiled the fact that he bites it (hard), but you really need to see the actual death for yourself. But other than that, the show was pretty even keeled. And also, it was fraggin' brilliant. A lot of things were tied up, and a lot weren't. Will Sil ever recover? Does Tony get indicted? Does it matter, what with the end scene (more in a second)? Will Paulie and the cat ever come to some kind of an understanding? We might never know.

Do I think that David Chase was just setting us up for the possibility of future episodes or a movie (or movies) down the line? Not really. He isn't much for them, having had a not-so-good experience with the Rockford Files reunion movie under his belt. Plus, James Gandolfini has said that the character is not one he is looking forward to getting back into, since it is such a dark and draining character to portray. I can buy that. Hell, I get exhausted watching him sometimes. So, with that said, the end scene...

Tony is at the diner that was the choice of the family for dinner. A greasy spoon type (if you are local, think Bel Loc), with supposedly the best onion rings in town. And I am willing to bet that Tony knows a thing or two about local establishments and the quality of their onion rings. Anyway, Tony is sitting there waiting for the family to arrive. He scans the jukebox and finally decides on Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" (one other thing about this show. The entire run made some fabulous music choices. This was no different). Tony keeps looking up and around. Carmella walks in. Tony gives her a menu. The song keeps playing. Tony keeps looking around. He is tracking a couple of people (the guy in the Member's Only jacket was my favorite). Are they there to whack him? Are they just random people? Are they possibly FBI? Don't forget, Carlo (I think it was Carlo) turned state witness and Tony was told he had an 80-90% chance of being indicted. A.J. walks in. A couple more people of interest to Tony come in. We see Meadow trying in vain to parallel park. We see from her front bumper that this isn't the first time that she has had problems with this. Tony scans the restaurant. The Member's Only guy looks nervous. He gets up and walks towards them. Meadow still can't park. Member's Only walks past to the bathroom. It seems apparent that Tony is unarmed, but we don't know for sure. Tony looks at the guys at the pastry counter again. The song keeps playing. We hear the bells/chimes that are on the door ring. Tony looks up...


Music stops. Credits roll. And a nation of fans sit and stare. Many start to complain. WHAT HAPPENED?!? they cry plaintively. Was it Meadow (who had FINALLY gotten the car parked and had been crossing the street)? Was it someone there to take Tony out? Was it the FBI there to arrest him? Who knows?

After it had sunk in, while I was taking the recyclables out for today's pick up, it hit me. It was the Lady or the Tiger. You remember that story, right? If not, check this out. What was it that came through that door that Tony saw? Death, or life? His end, or (in the guise of his engaged daughter and the promise of family and grandchildren) the continuation of his life? We don't know. It is whatever we want it to be. And THAT is the beauty of the show. Life does not have any neatly wrapped up endings. Every ending in our lives is the beginning of something else. So to with the end of this show. The Sopranos is no more. The characters are. Or are they? WE get to decide what makes sense to us, and we can debate ad infinitum, because no matter what decision we make, it is the correct one. I know what I think. And no, I am not going to tell you, at least not just yet. Make your own decision and let me know what YOU think. That is why I have a comments section.

And a final quick note to the soon-to-be-Daddy Fineous... if college counted, than a lot of things would be different. And not just by SNIPping. But let me know what you need, and I will see what I can do.

The Lady or the BSR

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Today's Mood Is...

Why, you ask? Well read on...

The King of Queens

I had to work Saturday night at teh Target (it is currently about 12:30 AM Sunday morning). The usual insanity occurred throughout the evening (apparently I have to be VERY careful about what I say as far as what happens in the store. I got a bulletin about it and everything!). It was after the store closed that the fun began. It started when one of the approximately 200 Ericas that work at the store asked me if anyone ever told me that I look like someone on television. I told her that I have gotten a few comparisons to actors over the years, some I liked better than others. I asked her who I reminded her of, but she kept asking me who I had previously been compared to. Well, after about 2 minutes, my interest in the conversation waned enough that I moved on to other things. This displeased her, as she really wanted to tell me who she thought I looked like. So she came over to me and told me that I remind her of Doug Heffernin (I have no idea if that is how the character's name is spelled. She could not remember the actor's name). In case you (like myself) have no idea who that is, it is the character that Kevin James plays on the King of Queens (right now you are thinking that you now know the reason for this entry's title. If it was that obvious, would I have Fear and Loathing cats up there? Of course not. Keep reading...). I suppose that I could have had a worse comparison. Unless it is because she thinks I have a toupee (or did I just say too much?), in which case I am offended. Of all my many physical imperfections (and if you want the full list, just wait until I piss off Wifey and take her out for a few drinks. I hope you have a few hours to kill, because once she gets started on the list, you will be there for a while), going bald is not currently one of them. But I am sure it won't be long.

Side note, I know that I am growing old, and I know that when men grow older the start to get hair in all sorts of inconvenient places. I can deal with the occasional ear hair and the longer nose hairs. Both are easily pluckable. Is pluckable a word? Damn if it ain't now! The hair that I am having a problem with is the old man eyebrow hair. I keep noticing these long ass hairs in my eyebrows, and they are stubborn bastards. They are inherently not easy to pluck, especially if you are trying to avoid plucking the normal length hairs. And since I have no idea to look like a pale Whoopi Goldberg from the eyeballs to the beginning of my thick and luscious hairline, I have to be VERY careful with those tweezers. Anyone who has any ideas on how to rectify this, please let me know as soon as possible.

Okay, back to Target last night. Something you might not be aware of in regards to Target, they are very accepting of gays and lesbians there. I believe they even offer health benefits to "partners", and I am pretty sure that you can give your partner a discount card, which is only for immediate family. Personally I think that is pretty cool. Whatever one's personal beliefs are, I do not think that they should influence business. Well, at my particular Target, there is a fairly large gay/lesbian contingent. I don't know if contingent is the right word, but it will have to do. Well, after we closed, we were all walking about and doing our respective closing tasks, and someone called for a team member named Shan'te (a female, in case you are unsure). Shan'te shouted out "Who wants Shan'te?" Well Shan'te is one of the more popular team members, she is fun to work with and also quite cute. And so a couple of the guys (not me honey, some of those other lecherous bastards) shouted that they, in fact, wanted her. All in good fun, and everybody was having a good laugh over it. One of the shouters was Harry, a good kid if not more than a little naive (I don't know how to put the little mark thing over the word, so if it reads "nave", I can't help that). I told Harry that his wanting her didn't count since he wanted everybody in the store, including me. That also got a good laugh, including from Harry. Then I told Harry not to feel bad because I wanted him too. Again, a good laugh. and THAT is when the fun began...

As I continued my walk/inspection, a male team member (I will avoid using his name, as I do not think he has come out, although it is pretty much common knowledge at least in the store) came up to me and said to me that he thought that I was married, to a woman. I told him I was. He then became confused since I just hit on Harry, and asked if maybe I was bisexual. I told him nope, except for that one night in college, but college doesn't count (another joke, even though at this point I should have realized that humor interpretation was not a strength of his). He put his hand on my shoulder and asked me if I really thought that the one time in college was enough. Well, I might not be the smartest man in town (if you ask Wifey there are about 200 women in the greater Baltimore area alone that would welcome a dalliance with me. If you ask me I want to know where the hell they were before I started dating her. I of course see none of these obvious signs that these women are apparently projecting whenever I get in range of them. But anyway...), but I knew right then and there that I was being offered more than a buddy to watch the game with. I politely told him that I was in fact truly committed to Wifey, and if she ever leaves me, then after the requisite grieving period I will go out and find another ovaried companion, but that I appreciated the offer (honestly, I had no idea what the hell to say to him, so what I really said was "'m good. Thanks anyway", then moved on to complete my task).

So, yes. At least for one day, I am truly the King of Queens. Huzzah!

Now I need to go to bed. Work tomorrow morning and then the big Sopranos series finale tomorrow night Larry the Upstairs Neighbor and I are doing a big pot of spaghetti with homemade meatballs and sauce, and some cheesy garlic bread. YUMMERS!


post script - I just ran Blogger's spellcheck, and apparently "pluckable" is NOT a word. So now you know.