Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Today's Mood Is...

I cannot get into detail regarding what happened at Bullseye Inc. last night.  If I do and it gets traced back to me that I have put this information out onto the intarwebs, I will be fired (at the least), but I can tell you this...

We busted two juvenile shoplifters last night.  One who had been deterred from stealing at our store on two other occasions, and one who had been busted at another store a few months ago.  Their parents were both sick of the fact that they keep getting into trouble, and told the police officer that responded that he had their permission to try and put a little fear into them.  Juvenile Services and the Hickey School were mentioned as a possible destinations for them.  One of the youths asked me if there were gangs at the Hickey School.  I told him there were.  And yes, there are.  But this is where it got fun (at least for me).  I mentioned that there were Crips and Bloods and MS-13.  Then I said the T-Birds and the Pink Squirrels and even the Dave Clark 5 were all active there, and you DEFINITELY did not want to mess with THEM.

That is when the officer left the room to have a laugh.  And that is when my work was done.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Today's Mood Is...

It has been a crappy day, overall.  Mayhap I will delve into some specifics later (however there is one specific I cannot get into on the intarwebs.  I promised silence and will keep it).  

But even on crappy days, weird things happen to me that I don't think ever happen to anyone else.  For instance...

I take a combination of prescribed medications and vitamin / mineral supplements to control my blood sugar.  One of the supplements I take is cinnamon.  If nothing else, it makes my insides smell a little better.  

So this morning, I take my prescribed medications, my Vitamin B, my chromium, and my cinnamon.  All is well until about an hour later.  I felt a little belch coming, and so I did the polite thing (since I am in the middle of an office) and belched into my mouth / throat with my mouth shut, in order to exhale it through my nose once it was finished.  All went according to plan until I exhaled.  Then IT happened.

A cloud of dust came out of my nose.  A cloud of cinnamon dust.  There is no mistaking the smell (or apparently the burn).  It was enough that I could see the remnants on my keyboard.  I do not know if anyone else saw it.  If they did, they didn't say anything.  But still, I can only imagine what it must have looked like.

And THAT is how my Monday is going.


Friday, January 23, 2009

Today's Mood Is...

At the old day job (technically not in Moleville proper, but up where the surface dwellers lived), every Friday whoever wanted to would put $2 in the kitty and someone would go out and but a couple lottery tickets.  Usually they only won a buck or two, and that money would get rolled into the next week's kitty.

Well, I have been here in Purgatory now for almost 4 months, and earlier this week I decided to see if there was anyone who wanted to begin this little exercise in state sponsored gambling in THIS office.  Out of 9 or 10 people, 5 said yes immediately and a couple others said something to the effect of "what the hell, it's a couple of bucks" (which is my philosophy on it.  There are plenty of ways to blow a couple of bucks - that statement means something ENTIRELY different in Milwaukee - and this is as entertaining as most things you can do for $2/week).  But I wouldn't be posting a story about this if it was all whisky and bacon (these are a few of my favorite things...), so...

I have a new nickname for a previously unmentioned coworker.  She used to work here years ago and left, and now has come back to work the special project that those of us who ARE employed here currently get OT for working after business hours, but she is here DURING business hours, and since she doesn't actually work here full time she is getting regular pay and not OT pay(Confused?  You won't be.  After THIS episode of...SOAP).  Anyhoo, she latched on to this idea of lotto glory really quick and quite vehemently.  I (being the sponsor of this exercise in stadium funding) had said I would get the tickets on Fridays.  I figured I would get a ticket for two drawings on the same numbers (Friday and the following Tuesday) and go from there.  Well Christian Okoye (check out his nickname, right in the first paragraph.  THAT is what I think of her.  But for now, she will be known simply as Okoye) has been saying that I should get the tickets at lunch on Fridays.  And I have been saying that if I go out for lunch on Friday I will get them then.  If I don't I will get them on the way home or while I am at Bullseye Inc. (there is a lottery machine next door at the grocery store).  Well, today I grabbed an envelope from the pile and put my name and the fact that I put $2 in it and put it in a public place.  I then started to inform all of my coworkers that it was there.  When Okoye started in AGAIN on me needing to get it during lunch, I had finally had enough.  I took my money out, scratched off my name, handed the envelope to her and told her that it was her baby now.  I don't know why she doesn't trust me, but if I am going to get scrutinized that harshly over $10 or $12 a week earmarked for lottery tickets, then I do not want to be responsible for it and I sure as hell don't want to play the game with her.

On a personal note, if her uncle ever needs to get money out of the country, I am not going to help him using my bank account.  I don't care how much he is going to pay me to do it.


Thursday, January 22, 2009

Today's Mood Is...

I want chicken, now.  I just can't fgure out why.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Today's Mood Is...

Just as a general rule, TYVM.

I think I am supposed to be flattered

So I am going through my Yahoo! (r) email, which I keep around as my spam dump / register here email account (and so Wifey and I can IM each other while I am at Purgatory), and I find THIS email under the heading "Your recent profile"...

I was looking at your message you left and I think that we need to be with each other. I am good looking girl. I am messaging from my friend's account so don't reply to this email directly 
my personal email is 
MatildaJenningsDL@gmail.com . I will send you my pic. It was the first time the. annual retail sales figure has fallen on government records going back to 1992. Many analysts believe the overall economy,. as measured by the gross domestic product, plunged at an annual rate of 6 percent in the just-completed fourth quarter after dropping by 0.

There are a few things that make me curious here.  First of all, I have not made any profiles recently.  In fact, the last profile I made in the last few years was when I registered on Fark so I could make snarky comments on the message boards.  I do not know what message she is speaking of, as I have not ever seen that email address before, and the last "message" I sent was a comment on Fark about a Russian skater who's costume malfunctioned and her boob popped out.  I made a Family Guy reference, with a picture of Chris.  If that makes her think that we need to be with each other, well, I do not know WHAT to think of that.  I am glad she included a personal email.  I look forward to her picture.  I am glad to hear that she is good looking.  But the thing that really sold her for me was her obvious interest in economics and the global market.  You just don't find a lot of good looking girls in the global economic think tanks, or at least I have assumed so.  Maybe this will open a whole new world of women who can actually recite pi while I...

...you get the idea.

Wifey, get to memorizin'! BSR is coming home soon and he wants to hear how many decimal places you can get to before your eyes roll back!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Today's Mood Is...

Production here in Purgatory has come to a grinding halt, as everyone pulls up CNN to watch the inauguration (I am going to assume for the sake of expediency that you know what I am referring to).  I wish I could be excited, but I'm not.  I understand the fact that it is history, but to be perfectly honest ALL inaugurations are historical in nature.  The fact that it has extra significance is commentary on both how far we have come as a nation in the last 40+ years, and how much further we really have to go to get where we should be, where something like skin color REALLY doesn't matter (no matter how much we like to be all "colorblind", no one is 100%).  

The thing is, it isn't personal politics.  I will not discuss who I voted for, because frankly it is none of your business.  There is a reason that ballots are private.  But the reason I am all "meh" is that I am trying (amidst a sea of hyperbole) to keep an even keel in regards to what this really means.  The fact is that the previous president was in charge during a time of unprecedented confusion, fear, and eventually economic uncertainty.  And guess which one of those three things REALLY caused his party to lose ground in the national scene.  If you said "MONEY", you win a prize (which I cannot afford to buy for you right now, so you will have to wait).  Barack Obama is a gifted speaker, a passionate man, and a man who seems to TRULY believe that he can help this country.  I will pray every day that he is guided to do what is best for the people of this country and for the people of the world.  May he be wise and deliberate with all of his decisions, and may the task never be more than he can bear.  But he is one man.  That is all that he is.  Jason Whitlock said it best when he said that he is excited for what the future holds, but that Obama isn't Jesus, Dr. King, or Malcolm X.  He is a very good politician (that is a paraphrase, since I cannot pull up Facebook here at work, so I cannot pull the exact quote).  And my fear is that people are now expecting him to do too much, to do the impossible.  And if he doesn't deliver, well, it ain't gonna be pretty.  

All evidence to the contrary, I am also excited for what the future holds.  But that is how I look at life every day.  Every morning that I get out of bed is a blessing, even if my legs hurt and I am tired and would like nothing more than to go back to sleep for another 6 hours.  I CAN get out of the bed.  A lot of people would trade these hardships of mine for theirs in a heartbeat.  The fact that I can hold down two jobs while so many are looking for work is a blessing.  I may not like having to miss out on spending time with my family and friends, but at least I can afford to provide food and shelter for my family, without having to ask for help from someone else, taking help from someone who truly needs it.  Instead, I can contribute to their aid.  I am excited that President Obama has new, fresh ideas to put towards solving the ills of my country and its people.  I just want everyone to take a deep breath, take a step back, and realize that tomorrow will not be all beer and skittles.  And as far as the inauguration goes, as long as it doesn't affect my ability to get from job 1 to job 2, and then to get back home, well then that is all I can really ask for from him today.  Tomorrow we can look at a government grant to support the fledgling BSR Empire.  Hell, Wall Street and Detroit surely don't need ALL $750 billion, do they?

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Today's Mood Is...

Why?  Because of THIS.  I drink a little over a pot of coffee a day on average (some days more, but usually at least that).  So remember, the next time you see me, I'm not going gray.  I'm seeing dead people.

Holy CARP!!!

I didn't want to set off any work filters with my title.

You may notice a few changes in the ol' blog.  Apparently I have a "Follower" (followers are cooler than minions, because followers are Blogspot approved and therefore listed on the page.  Not my rules, folks).  And yours truly has his first official follower!  Yes, the BSR Empire has a sanctioned member, and it is Brian, who forevermore will be known as Captain Clubfoot (If you know him you understand.  And if you want to give his name the proper gravitas you must say it like THIS).

Could official sponsors be next?  I'd like to think so!

One of those things you don't really think about

Here in Purgatory, it is a small business, family owned and operated.  The Brothers Chinn own it, and their mother, their brother, and their sister all work here in some capacity.  And sometimes their in-laws help out.

The sister (who apparently handles the HR) is married.  He is apparently working here part time now.  He likes to wear tracksuit pants (which makes me think he is auditioning for the horrible regular television version of the Sopranos that is most assuredly in development SOMEWHERE).  And he just walked up to someone that he is going to be sitting with and learning how to do what she does and said "Don't worry, I don't bite".

Well, to be perfectly honest that was not any concern at all of mine.  UNTIL YOU SAID THAT!!!

I know it is a common phrase.  I have heard it countless times.  I am sure I have even said it before.  But now I have this nagging feeling that he is going to walk up to someone and just start nibbling, and I can't get it out of my head.  Maybe it will  just be to announce his presence, maybe until he is just shy of breaking the skin, maybe until he has the taste of delicious, delicious brains on his palate.  I really don't know.  But I don't want to.

Either way, I no longer trust the bastich.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Today's Mood Is...


And YOU can blame the ISB for showing me this, which in turn made me have to post it.

Friday, January 09, 2009

Today's BONUS Mood Is...

Don't blame me.  I voted for Kodos.

Today's Mood Is...

While I sit here at my desk, trying to look busy whenever someone walks past but otherwise not getting a damn thing done (pretty much like anything else), I came across a site that had a bunch of "battle of the restaurants" with various foodstuffs (cheesesteaks, pizza, etc.).  There was one for Cheeseburgers, too.  And it seems that at one particular place they asked for a burger to be cooked medium rare and had that request refused.  I will let them tell you in more amusing detail...

There's one thing holding it back--the absurd fear many restaurants have of serving under-cooked meat. You request medium rare and they politely inform you that, no, unfortunately they can't do that. The best they can do is medium. The problem is that medium without the rare is really well done. Our species has survived thousands of years huddling around fires and eating chunks of squirrelly meat off the tips of dirty sticks, and suddenly one slightly pink burger is going to launch a "Hot Zone"-sized epidemic that will knock civilization to its knees? One word: amoxicillin.

Can I get an amen, people?!?

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Today's Mood Is...

sounds like SOMEONE has a case of the Thursdays...

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Today's Mood Is...

I am not sure I can accurately explain the reason that picture is speaking to me.

Also, I would like to announce the newest additions to our cast of Nicknamed Characters.  Let's hear it for Doo-Wop (her name just sounds like it should be the title of an early 60's Motown song.  Don't ask me why, it is just what I hear when I think of her name).  And also a warm round of e-applause for Gaza Strip Club (a combination of her religion and her attitude towards life, which is one of awesomeness).