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IT'S RAINING SIDEWAYS!

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And I would go to confession EVERY DAY.

Can you imagine how much tastier Communion would be?

Good Advice

So, in order to do my job, I have to access the "extranet" for the hospital where I used to work. On Friday, they decided to run utilities for the software that the dental office (and I) use. It was supposed to take 45 minutes to an hour.

It is now almost 1 PM on Monday (ignore the post time, I had to backtime it to get it under the Mood post for today).

We are quickly approaching the end of the month, and I am still on the 15th for deposits that have to be entered. The deposit we got today was over $31K all by itself. As it stands, if the thing is working by today I might wind up staying late just to try and get the 15th finished before I call it a day. And I had scheduled myself to be off of BOTH jobs this weekend. I was very much looking forward to having a day or two where I did not have to leave the house and go off and deal with a bunch of responsibilities. Now I might not have a choice but to be here all day Saturday AND Sunday. OF course, I won't be getting paid for it, because I have to sit here with my metaphorical thumb up my metaphorical ass, not able to do anything, but getting paid for it. So that means that this weekend would be playing catch up. But it isn't like I can stay home this week waiting for the problem to be fixed. So I have to sit at my desk, staring at the wall, waiting for the call / email telling me to get the hell back to work, and then come in on the weekend (if the problem is even fixed by then. If the one person that we talked to in the I.T. department at the hospital is correct, then I might wind up WEEKS behind. And that could lead to even MORE fun.

In the meantime, I am following the dog's advice. What the hell do I have to lose?

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I bet there are some multi-colored eggs hidden underneath him!

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now he needs a Krystallnuk

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And THAT's real, yo.

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In the Midnight hour, they cried Mao, Mao, Mao...

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and the cars on parsley, sage, and rosemary.

...you're welcome. By the way, if you are not supposed to be online at work you might want to close your browser reeal quick. I am quite sure the entire office just heard your groan after reading that little cartoon and there is no doubt that the boss (or the nosy co-worker who likes to rat people out in order to curry favor - and curry was not meant to be another groaner, but as soon as I typed it I thought that it read that way, so apologies for that, too) is on the way over to see why you made that noise.

If I have to suffer today, so do you!

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with a bonus helping of...

I am running statements for the dental office, which, due to my being on the extranet from a rather remote location in approximation to the servers and other technical mumbo jumbo, makes it so that it takes the better part of 4 or 5 hours to accomplish this task. And until it is done, I can do nothing else. So I am surfing the intarwebs and generally looking for things to occupy my time. So you can only imagine how happy I was when some bot saw me online and decided to start a conversation. As always, names are changed to protect the "innocent"...

Robot Whore: Hey

BSR: hi

Robot Whore: hey there cutie???

BSR: yes, it is me

Robot Whore: who is this again? Sorry I don't recognize the name lol

BSR: well since you messaged me, who do you want me to be?

Robot Whore: Oh Ok LOL,Nice!how you doin??

BSR: My name is LOL, then? Very meta. I am well. How are ye, friend of LOL?

Robot Whore: Leanne is my real name but all my friends call me Lia

BSR: I shall call you ROF-L, for you are from Krypton's funny colony.

Robot Whore: I'm actually working right now what are you doing exactly??

BSR: I am also working. My corporate overlords are stern taskmasters. They no longer provide french vanilla non-dairy creamer in the break room!!!!!

Robot Whore: nice, nothin I work from home just starting doing these cam shows It's pretty fun actually lol

BSR: I question your sentence structure and use of capitalization (or lack thereof). Do you imbibe on your job?

Robot Whore: I am a little busy right now cant really talk here but I would LOVE if you came to watch and give me some company, and maybe a GOOD rating ??

BSR: l am also busy, as well as sufferingf through the indignity of having to use hazelnut.

Robot Whore: well I think i have my free friend's pass lyin here one sec babe.. I mean would you want it??

BSR: free is good, especially in these tough economic times. Could I trade it for a crust of bread to feed my poor child Cosette?

Robot Whore: yes its free

BSR: oh, Cosette will enjoy a meal that is not from a soup kitchen or dumpster. Please let me have this free pass, for it sounds like pure GOLD!

Robot Whore: of course, i jsut like to be safe

BSR: I do as well, but when one is as poor as me, safety takes a back seat to not letting your child starve. Especially since I have to buy ny own french vanilla non-dairy creamer for my coffee, now.

Robot Whore: are you busy?

BSR: well, l am due for my weekly flogging at 11, but l have some free time right now

Robot Whore: yes its free

BSR: that has been established. Are you not able to procure it?

Robot Whore: yup, I do got another pass left!..YAY.. just please don't tell anyone else I can get in trouble. What color panties should I put on for you sexy, i'll let you pick! LOL

BSR: maybe salmon colored? It has been so long since I have had anything other than the gristle of the rich

Robot Whore: k lol .. You joining me ?

BSR: are you going to give me this free pass to dinner?

Robot Whore: yes its free

BSR: that is the third time you have said that. Why must you dangle this carrot of opportunity just out of my grasp? Oh to have a carrot right now...

Robot Whore: Ok, go to http://#@$%&*$#$%#@!@#$&^$%#$.com/COOLGIRL scroll all the way down to the bottom babe, and you will see "friends of ME", click that and when you get the password page, put in the password: "mom" okay?

BSR: "mom"? No, I'm sorry. I may be hungry, and my coffee may be woefully lacking full flavor, but l cannot condone that kind of amoralistic behavior!

Robot Whore: yup, fill out your info, make sure you put your correct b-day k?

BSR: It is most certainly NOT "k"!

Robot Whore: k, if you entered as my friend, it should say 0.00, if so you are good for my free friend's pass dont worry about the autorenew the pass cancels all charges

BSR: I am going to have to end this conversation, but I must tell you that I will be reporting this ungodly activity to Child Protective Services!

Robot Whore: CC is just to verify your age hun,its the sites policy to ensure no minors get access to the site .. i gave u my free friend's pass

BSR: I SAID GOOD DAY!

And how has your day been so far?

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RESPEK!

The day it all went to hell

Started with 2 bosses on vacation, continued with one coworker walking out on the job because of a work issue, and now the cherry on top is Doo Wop singing "Da Butt" as she processes claims.

And I still have another job to go to after this...

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...well? What are you waiting for?

In order to do my job, I have to get on the UMMS Extranet. On a good day, it is slow, with occasional bouts of molasses. Today, with pretty much the entire office streaming CNN to watch the Michael Jackson funeral (I don't know why they can't just gather around one computer. It isn't like any of the bosses are around, and it has been established that they are not doing any work. Why the pretense?), the Extranet is moving at the approximate speed of the Tortoise from the Merrie Melodies Bugs Bunny version of the Tortoise and the Hare. It is taking me almost 10 minutes to post one payment and insurance write-off (at average speed I get one in every 1-2 minutes depending on how quickly the system pulls the name up for me). I am quickly checking out while sitting here, and the lag time is making it easy for me to write off today as "unproductive" and just drift into the ethers until 4:30, when I have to leave for Bullseye Inc.

Well, I was. Until something happened that, ever so briefly pulled me from the sweet embrace of apathy and dragged me kicking and screaming back into Purgatory Present. Urkel's Mom (who most definitely DOES NOT have it going on) came in.

And she started talking...

Apparently the water at the Inner Harbor was more of an aqua then pure blue.

Anyone who lives here surprised to hear this?

For those that don't, I would trend to the thought that the water being "aqua" colored is a step in the right direction, especially sine the default color for many years has been some blue-brownish chum scented spectrum not known to nature. At least aqua is a synonym for water. That is an improvement.

Is it PC to say that the water is "colored"?

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Well, to be more precise, numbers are changing. Number as in addresses. Addresses as in places you are going to want to frequent.

HEED THE COMING MATH, OR REAP THE WHIRLWIND!

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Too busy to get into details. Maybe tomorrow.

Maybe not.