Friday, July 10, 2009

Today's Mood Is...

with a bonus helping of...

I am running statements for the dental office, which, due to my being on the extranet from a rather remote location in approximation to the servers and other technical mumbo jumbo, makes it so that it takes the better part of 4 or 5 hours to accomplish this task. And until it is done, I can do nothing else. So I am surfing the intarwebs and generally looking for things to occupy my time. So you can only imagine how happy I was when some bot saw me online and decided to start a conversation. As always, names are changed to protect the "innocent"...

Robot Whore: Hey

BSR: hi

Robot Whore: hey there cutie???

BSR: yes, it is me

Robot Whore: who is this again? Sorry I don't recognize the name lol

BSR: well since you messaged me, who do you want me to be?

Robot Whore: Oh Ok LOL,Nice!how you doin??

BSR: My name is LOL, then? Very meta. I am well. How are ye, friend of LOL?

Robot Whore: Leanne is my real name but all my friends call me Lia

BSR: I shall call you ROF-L, for you are from Krypton's funny colony.

Robot Whore: I'm actually working right now what are you doing exactly??

BSR: I am also working. My corporate overlords are stern taskmasters. They no longer provide french vanilla non-dairy creamer in the break room!!!!!

Robot Whore: nice, nothin I work from home just starting doing these cam shows It's pretty fun actually lol

BSR: I question your sentence structure and use of capitalization (or lack thereof). Do you imbibe on your job?

Robot Whore: I am a little busy right now cant really talk here but I would LOVE if you came to watch and give me some company, and maybe a GOOD rating ??

BSR: l am also busy, as well as sufferingf through the indignity of having to use hazelnut.

Robot Whore: well I think i have my free friend's pass lyin here one sec babe.. I mean would you want it??

BSR: free is good, especially in these tough economic times. Could I trade it for a crust of bread to feed my poor child Cosette?

Robot Whore: yes its free

BSR: oh, Cosette will enjoy a meal that is not from a soup kitchen or dumpster. Please let me have this free pass, for it sounds like pure GOLD!

Robot Whore: of course, i jsut like to be safe

BSR: I do as well, but when one is as poor as me, safety takes a back seat to not letting your child starve. Especially since I have to buy ny own french vanilla non-dairy creamer for my coffee, now.

Robot Whore: are you busy?

BSR: well, l am due for my weekly flogging at 11, but l have some free time right now

Robot Whore: yes its free

BSR: that has been established. Are you not able to procure it?

Robot Whore: yup, I do got another pass left!..YAY.. just please don't tell anyone else I can get in trouble. What color panties should I put on for you sexy, i'll let you pick! LOL

BSR: maybe salmon colored? It has been so long since I have had anything other than the gristle of the rich

Robot Whore: k lol .. You joining me ?

BSR: are you going to give me this free pass to dinner?

Robot Whore: yes its free

BSR: that is the third time you have said that. Why must you dangle this carrot of opportunity just out of my grasp? Oh to have a carrot right now...

Robot Whore: Ok, go to http://#@$%&*$#$%#@!@#$&^$%#$.com/COOLGIRL scroll all the way down to the bottom babe, and you will see "friends of ME", click that and when you get the password page, put in the password: "mom" okay?

BSR: "mom"? No, I'm sorry. I may be hungry, and my coffee may be woefully lacking full flavor, but l cannot condone that kind of amoralistic behavior!

Robot Whore: yup, fill out your info, make sure you put your correct b-day k?

BSR: It is most certainly NOT "k"!

Robot Whore: k, if you entered as my friend, it should say 0.00, if so you are good for my free friend's pass dont worry about the autorenew the pass cancels all charges

BSR: I am going to have to end this conversation, but I must tell you that I will be reporting this ungodly activity to Child Protective Services!

Robot Whore: CC is just to verify your age hun,its the sites policy to ensure no minors get access to the site .. i gave u my free friend's pass


And how has your day been so far?

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