Warning - I am not editing my cuss words out today...
I have plenty of reasons to be in a shitty mood right now. Reasons that are perfectly valid and filled with logical rationalizations that can be cited without impunity.
But really, that is no reason to say you are going to stab your supervisor in the face.
It was one of those things that just popped out of my mouth while a bunch of us were joking around about today's dismissal time (most Fridays we get out at 4 instead of 4:30, but it isn't guaranteed, so there is usually some playful cajoling going on from about noon on, especially when neither of the Brothers Chinn are here, like today). The floor supervisor (the guy in charge whenever the Chinns are off doing what the hell ever they do when they aren't here) started saying something to the effect of us leaving at 5 instead of at 4 OR 4:30.
It is important to note that there are no feeling of animosity towards him. In fact, I like him a great deal. And when my mouth started moving I was playing along and bantering. But what my brain made my mouth say wasn't so playful.
I said that if 5 is the quitting time that I had better get out since I am on London Time and it is already past time to go. When he asked what that meant, I started talking, and by the time I finished I said something about stabbing him in the face.
I have no idea what else I said or why those words chose to come out of my mouth. I have been trying to recall what could have made those words form in my head or in my mouth or anything else. I am drawing a blank.
To his credit, he blew it off at the time and not until I was walking past him near the break room did he pull me aside to tell me that my statement was beyond the pale (which I know, but really, the fact that I even said it didn't truly register until he said something to me about it). I apologized to him right then and there, and then sent a written apology email to everyone who was around when I said it. But I still feel even more like shit now than I did before I pulled the Ass Hat Move Of The Month (I just invented that award to give myself. I am pretty sure no one will be able to claim it from me in the next 10 days).
And really, is that the kind of thing that you want to say to your supervisor when you are about to go in for your yearly review? Stupid brain. I need to kill more of you with beer.
in retrospect, I didn't cuss nearly as much as I thought I would. Oh well. I'll try harder next time.
ReplyDeleteRon's yearly review in a nutshell, "Toss off, bloody wanker." (cursing with words that don't seem like curse words makes it seem better... )
ReplyDelete