So for those who don't know, I am back in the hospital. Not nearly as bad as last time (I'm conscious for everything, but with my current roommate that is not nearly the blessing that it could be), and if we can arrange for transport then I am getting out today.
Right now he is sitting on the window ledge talking. And as inane as the conversation is, it could be worse. And how is it that I am so sure of that? Well, I'll tell you. When he came in, he spent the first 8-10 hours farting. A lot. Loud ones. Stinky ones. Ones that made me head to the bathroom for fresh air (hospital disinfectant has never smelled so lovely). And the "best" part is that he never once said "excuse me". Nor did he say anything else. Nope, he just laid there and farted. It made me decide to call him "Mr. Boombastic" (they call me Mr. Boombastic, my farts are fantastic, you take a whiff and go "ewwwwwwwwwwww"...).
Okay, he went off to smoke (and give the main entrance the gift of sulfur).
So, this time I got cellulitis (fancy name for a skin infection) in my foot/leg). They pumped me full of antibiotics (and I will be taking a bunch more for the next 2-3 weeks) and did a bunch of checking and testing and said I could go. Technically I could have left yesterday, but the 18-20 inches of snow made that rather problematic. Now we just have to find a way to get Wifey here with my wallet and keys so that I can get on up outta here.
A quick aside about Wifey. Once again she has been fabulous to me during all of this. I am pretty sure when she repeated the whole "in sickness and in health", she really wasn't counting on it being this lopsided towards the "sickness" side. I never give her enough credit on here for all the things she does for me every day (from cleaning up around the house to just walking past and saying "I love you"), and usually I focus on the silly things she does (or the violent things she does while sleeping). I know I am truly blessed to have her in my life.
So now that I have given her some props, I can tell you what she did that made half of the nursing staff run in here as if it was "dramatic scene time" on ER...
I do not know by now if I have ever mentioned that Wifey does not yawn like normal people. In fact, she yawns like no one else in the history of ever. I do not have an audio track of her, but I will try to get some video of her doing it in order for you to get the full effect. For those of you who have not been subjected to this particular quirk, the best way I can describe the sound is that it something between a banshee wail and the cry of a falcon swooping from high above you as she charges towards you after she spotted you desecrating her nest and threatening her newborn hatchlings. Well, while she was here on Friday she yawned. And not 10 seconds later nurses came RUNNING into the room to find out what was wrong. Everyone looked at them wondering what they were talking about. Then they said they heard a noise like somebody was dying.
I will reiterate the crux of that little anecdote: Wifey's yawns, when heard by health care professionals, sounds like someone in the throes of death.
Another glimpse into the world of BSR. See you next time!
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