Monday, August 30, 2010

Most of us Know Someone Like This

Not all attention whores are created equal.

Some are much more fun to post pictures of, and hopefully will drive up site clicks so I can get some sponsors on here.

Take Doo Wop, for instance. She is not someone who outright begs for attention, she doesn't create major scenes for her to emote about. But she DOES crave attention (and before you say anything, I am well aware that thinking anybody but myself and my closest friends give a flying leap about my whining is just as attention whore-y as anything that Doo Wop does. But at least I am up front about it). To wit, what she likes to do is to not only talk loudly on the phone, with exaggerated exasperation at every voice prompt question (and since most insurance companies allow you to key in most of your answers instead of saying them like you are a shouting Eeyore, it is unnecessary except for showing your coworkers that you are dealing with it and phishing for sympathy from them), she also likes to tell everyone (often individually) about the hell she just went through.

Did'ja hear what I just told him? You did? Well let me tell ya what I just told him...

It is usually told while sighing / laughing and back patting (we don't go full slap here, unless it is to the back of your chair), along with the usual chorus of "you ain't never told no lies" and "I know THAT'S right" affirming the situation (sometimes coming FROM Doo Wop WHILE she is telling the story).

The other part of it is the undermumbling. Long time readers may remember JabberJaws from the days in the basement / bomb shelter at Kernan. Well, Jabberjaws' red headed stepchild is Undermumbles.

Page views, people. It's how you grow an internet. Posting this picture is strictly scientific in nature. No ulterior motive, like justifying using GIS to search for her while at work is needed here. Move along, please.

Undermumblers like to sit at their desk and talk "to themselves", making vague, general exclamations of disbelief until someone bites and asks them what is going on. Then, it is STORY TIME!

thJOKERPOPCORN.gif Popcorn Joker image by RetroRooster
Get'cher popcorn ready. Because you are going to need to keep your strength up.

The thing is, it isn't anything more than an attempt to commiserate with others who suffer the same annoyances and indignations that you do every day. People who automatically understand what a pain in the [mule.jpg] it is to deal with the insurance company's voice prompt services, as they require you to enter a litany of information that you are just going to have to give again to the customer service rep when you finally get to them (and on a side note, I would like to tell Blue Cross / Blue Shield of MD that if every time I call you for 2+ years you are "experiencing heavier than normal call volume", it is not heavier than normal, and mayhap your cheap selves should hire a few more phone jockeys. Lord knows my premiums alone are enough to fund a couple of wireless headset automatons). So we get it. We empathize. But we have our own crap we're dealing with, so maybe you could keep it down to once or twice a day.


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