Honestly, if you haven't already done it, just click on the link directly above these words. I'll wait here patiently for you.
Okay, are you done wincing/giggling yet? Good.
Here is the beginning of a list of things I want:
1. Good news that doesn't involve car insurance.
2. To have a day when I wake up because my body is ready to, not because an pre-programmed artificial noise maker tells me it is time to.
3. To have at least one of those kind of days every week.
4. To find out that delivery pizza is actually a perfect food created by God that provides perfect nutritional balance for our lives.
5. To have my brilliance recognized by all.
6. To be brilliant at SOMETHING.
7. To discover that chocolate actually cures diabetes.
8. To find any cure for diabetes.
9. To find a way to make JabberJaws not speak for 15 minutes.
10. To play in the Super Bowl (not the halftime show).
I will probably come up with more, unless this becomes another "words that sound funny to me" kinda thing, in which case I apparently will NOT come up with any more. Besides, at least 4 of those were lame anyway. I just wanted to post the tasered genitals man link before it became commonly shared and it lost the power to shock people I send it too (pun pretty much unintended, but I like it, so as of this very second I am going to make it intentional).