the Land of Lesbians

I am all for diversity. I believe that sexual orientation should be as much a factor in being hired as race or qualifications for the position (okay, maybe qualifications for the position should carry a LITTLE extra weight. I am just tired of hunting for a new job, because apparently I am qualified for but two things...Jack and Shit. And Jack left town. Remember, shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!?!?) The reason I bring this up is that the Target where I am employed has become a haven of Sappho. I don't know if it is a theme throughout the company or if my store just has a unique concentration of Butch's NOT NAMED Patrick, but lately it seems I can't take 3 steps without running into a lesbian. And by no means am I saying this is a bad thing.

First of all, I am off the market, so it isn't like I am hunting for a hot piece of Target Team Member in the utility closet during my state mandated break period. So there is no competition. I will say that the vast majority of Muff Divers Local 127 are more manly than pretty much the entire IT department here at the hospital, so there isn't a whole lot of temptation there to go thinking things like "she just hasn't had the right man yet". I am fairly confident that in most cases she IS the right man.

Secondly, there is nothing cooler than a woman taking the time to point out a hot woman that has entered the store, and it is even more awesome when she takes the time to check out the ass with you as she enters. Apparently most lesbians aren't into boobs like they are ass and thighs. Me, I appreciate the whole package. I'm just a renaissance man that way.

Last night one of the Local 127 was working in Guest Services when I walked over to drop off some re-shop (merchandise that needs to be re-shelved for those who don't know what "re-shop" means). She was staring intently at one of the registers, so asked her what was going on. She proceeded to tell me (in rather graphic detail) not only that there was a (for lack of a better term) "quality piece of ass" at Register 7, but what she would like to do to those "thick thighs" and "juicy ass". Now how she could tell the relative juice quantity in the posterior of this particular lady is beyond me. I know if you are shopping for melons you are supposed to shake them and sniff them and even knock on them. I am hoping that she did not do this, because odds are it would be misinterpreted, at least initially. Although it would be fun to try and fill out that report. I know spell-check would have a blast with it.

Working two jobs may suck the vast majority of the time, but at least I get to be complimented by lesbians with such kudos as "If only we didn't have the same taste in women", and "it's too bad you are a guy. You would make a great girlfriend". To which I could only reply "I was thinking the exact same thing about you".

BSR