Thursday, May 04, 2006

I'm on to you all

Okay, this is gonna be a quickie (of course, if you ask Wifey, they ALL are, but we have different concepts of time. At least in certain circumstances). I just want to let you all know that I am aware of your nefarious plot. It must have been omitted from my calendar, this "Everybody Do Everything It Is In Your Power To Do If At All Humanly Possible To Get In Ron's Way Wherever He Is Going Today" Day. That's okay, I will thwart you. From the MTA bus that decided to stop (not break down, just STOP) in the right hand turn lane of a very busy intersection where I make a right turn every morning in order to get to work, to the three yahoos that decided to pick that particular time to also stop, to the car right behind me that stopped approximately 3 inches from my rear bumper, effectively trapping me in space, to the trash truck that decided that it would be a good time to grab the trash can RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, even if that meant cutting me off and slamming its brakes on (forcing me to follow suit), and apparently city budget cutbacks have forced all municipal vehicles to be sold without turn signals in order to save money on bulbs, to the CORVETTE that was doing around 8 miles under the 25 mph speed limit on the last road before I arrive at work. 2006 Corvette and it can't go faster than idle speed? WTF?!?!?!?!?

Also, it seems that Wifey and I were accidentally poisoning the cats. I bought a name brand cat food the other day (not mentioning the brand for fear of legal reprisal, but contact me and I will let you know on an individual basis). One cat is sick, and one cat is apparently very horny (if the lambada-esque dance she has been doing is any indication), and Wifey called the vet. The vet said it is the food that is doing all of the damage. Like I said to Wifey when she IM'ed me the info, I am surprised, because I remember using this food for my cats growing up and there never being a problem. I don't think it is our cat specific-type issues with the food from the reaction that the vet apparently had (I say apparently because I was not the one on the phone talking to him. Wifey was). I guess the brand has gone downhill since the glory days. So if you have cats, drop me a line and I will tell you what the food was so you know to avoid it. If you hate cats or have an ex (or someone you are planning to put in "ex" status soon) that has cats and you want to screw them up, drop me a line and if I feel your desire to kill kitties (pic to your right excluded) is justified, I will also tell you the brand.

George Clooney and Texas Whoppers will probably have to wait until tomorrow.


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