And so the masses speak!

It has been all of 2 or 3 days since my big announcement, and already I have a volunteer to be my personal Secret Service escort (although if Fineous won't block the occasional Wifey forehead flick I don't know if I trust him to jump in front of a bullet for me. I might have to make him the Secretary of SNIP! btw - that's an inside joke, don't even try to figure it out), and I have 2 votes, but they are qualified with special requests. Now I have plans to be the President who finally stands up to special interest groups and stops the pandering to the lobbyists. However, in the interest of fairness I feel I must share the requests of my first official supporters, who I expect to see on the campaign trail any moment now. Spread the word my pretties, spread it!

First comment... You’ll get our vote if we can finally see you shirtless!!!!

and the second... I second that motion

Well ladies, first of all you will have to clear that with the First Wifey. Secondly, while I have no intention of making this a habit, if I do in fact win the election, I will pose for you with as few clothes as you wish. I might even have some glossies printed up.

Speaking of Wifey's role in the administration (and if we weren't speaking of it, we are now dangit!), she is openly campaigning for Secretary of Defense of Head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. To those requests I have unequivocally said "no". Anyone who knows Wifey knows how dangerous she is unarmed, or armed with only a butter knife of plastic spoon and her always with her propensity for accidental carnage. If you think I am going to let her be anywhere near the football you are crazier than I thought you were, whoever the hell you are (yes, I think you are all crazy. Even YOU). That being said, why even become President if you don't get to be all nepotistic and crony-ish (I don't know if they are words, but if they aren't I will decree them to be after the nomination. Kneel before Mirriam Webster, son of Jor-El!), so I will gladly accept any and all requests for official positions in my Cabinet or for any other appointments. However, in order for your request to be accepted, you must give me valid reason why you should have this position. And if this reason is presented in Haiku style, all the better.

As far as the positions go, pretty much all of them are open and available. The only one that anyone might have dibs on is Ed Norris (the former commissioner, not the local actor made good) for Secretary of Defense. He has no idea that I am planning on appointing him, and I would have to issue an executive pardon first, but I would probably need at least one person I haven't yet been drunk with or slept with (or in a few cases both) in an advisory position. And since he is (from what I have heard on the radio) one of the most rationally positive thinkers I am aware of, I wouldn't mind having him bending my ear. Besides, I figure he could clean up a lot of the bullshit currently blocking up the system.

Okay, I await more responses now, and am eager to hear questions regarding policy. Remember, the email to contact me is bigshirtlesspresident@gmail.com . All emails will be answered.

Join me next week for the running diary of the class I was sent to by my day job. 7 hour class, I lasted all of 70 minutes. As soon as the first break hit I rolled out and had a delicious, reasonably priced meal at Cracker Barrel. But until then, take care my pets, and let's keep moving all the way to Washington!

BSR in 2008