Oh, I see what you did there...
Okay, this will not be a full on, 27 paragraph missive, but I am going to give you some of my long promised updating to my life.
Wifey is in fact back from NY. However, she was just back up there for another round of auditions, including one for a national tour. So for all I know, in a couple of months I will be all alone again, just me and a dog and a cat and an upstairs neighbor and an internet connection...
And possibly a year's supply of kleenex...
ANYWAY, I have now been smoke free for 37 days. One of the benefits of Wifey getting fired from G-Hellhole (those who worked there can figure out how to pronounce that) was that we had to switch over to my insurance from Moleville. Well, since Moleville is part of a major hospital that is part of a major worldwide university system (have I finally said too much?), we have excellent insurance. The pay might be shitty, but the insurance is AWESOME! So finall the Chantix was covered, and with the help of Pfizer and a modest co-pay, I quit smoking as of the new year. And as of today I have not slipped up once. So that is a good thing. It also made Wifey's surgery a lot cheaper. But there is one thing that Chantix does not help with, and that is temper. I will fully admit to being a bit cranky at first, so I was glad that Wifey was not at home for the first few days. But if the old lady who cut me off on North Avenue is reading this, I am so sorry for telling you to go do those things. Especially to who I told you to do them to. I am pretty sure that those things are not even legal to do. So I take it back. But next time use your turn signal please. And if you can make sure that your car is actually clear of my car so that I don't have to slam my brakes in order to keep my front end in its current configuration I would really appreciate it.
Jabberjaws has been in a lot more recently. Luckily for her, by the time she started coming in more often I was past the DIE YOU MOTHER#$%&!@ stage of my quitting. I did learn from boss #1 of 247 (bosses ranked in order of recognition of bossitude, not for any personal ranking, just in case one of the other 246 bosses reads this) that her husband is (contrary to all of our theories) just as talkative as she is, which amazes me. With the amount of time they spend camping out in their RV, you would figure that two people who consume that much oxygen on a regular basis in that enclosed of a space would have caused one of them to die from asphyxiation by now, or for them to create such a vacuum of air that the RV would actually implode, possibly taking out a few square miles of campground with them. Maybe I need to brush up on my physics theories.
During one of her rants the other day (possibly yesterday, now that I think of it) I leaned that JJ's husband collects pancake mixes from around the world. Now, with all due respect to Larry the Upstairs Neighbor (who could live on pancakes and potatoes and never be wanting for anything), that has got to be one of the stupidest things I have ever heard of. She went on and on about how he has blueberry mix, pecan mix, butter pecan mix, walnut mix...until I actually could no longer bite my tongue (besides, I was getting up to leave so that I could come home and pick up Wifey for her appointment with the tooth DR, so I knew that no matter what happened I was going to be saved). I looked her right in the eye and told her that THAT was one of the most fascinating hobbies I had ever heard of. Then I walked out the door and left her to the Hens.
Sometimes when you see an open door you HAVE to go through it, and every once in a while hearing JJ ramble on is more melodious than hearing Kenny G's song repeated over and over until you feel like Bill Murray.
Don't drive angry.