Welcome...TO THE SHORTHAND

No, the link has nothing to do with the post. It is just something that has made me laugh since I first saw it, lo those many years ago.

Okay, since I now have more readers (even if some of them are in fact coerced into reading by Wifey, who can be rather convincing when she wants to be), I thought I should maybe make clear what some of the nicknames I use really mean. And since some of them have evolved, it can only help me too..

These are in order. I do not know what order they are in, but they are in SOME kind of order...

Wifey - hopefully self explanatory.

Moleville (or any mole reference really) the basement at the hospital where I am employed.

Asian - also known as Asian Mustard Lady. She got the name from her unwavering support for the mustard included in most Chinese carry-out orders. During a lengthy discussion here in Moleville by the hens about their favorite mustard. Which brings me to...

The Hens - the collection of women that I work with here in the basement of the hospital. Their predilection towards gossiping, usually followed by "Gurrrrrrrrrrrrrlllllllllll..." or something of that ilk, usually makes me want to own the Get Smart Cone of Silence (or whatever it was called). To give you an idea, for the last 15 minutes the discussion has been on the one winner of the latest Mega Millions jackpot (a multi-state lottery, this time won by 1 person in Ohio. The jackpot for this drawing was 265 million dollars). Well, after everyone expressed how much they cannot believe that one person won the whole amount, the conversation turned to how they hope that the person who won is poor and not old, because it always seems that old rich people win the big money. One of the hens is now talking to herself about how she would take the lump sum, because (muttering. Cannot make out the words here). The other two hens have left to go upstairs to the cafeteria to get lunch. She is STILL talking.

Mother Hen - she actually has her own office (the vast majority of us are in cubicles). She will often bring in bagels or doughnuts or something like that, I think to make up for the fact that she can be rather short (rhymes with witch) sometimes (sometimes = 90%, but that is pretty much splitting hairs)

Wonder Twins - an evolution of WW (Wonder Woman) and Jamaica, two women who work in the same cubicle section as me. Definite members of the Hens, also quite opinionated on pretty much EVERY subject one can bring up. Because one of them can't eat chili without the other one farting, they have become one entity to me. In fact, when one is out of the office for any length of time, the other starts to wander about the office like the man in the 24 hour grocery store at 3 in the morning on a Tuesday, walking about in his pajamas searching in vain for the frozen peas.

JJ - JabberJaws. Named after the Hanna Barbara cartoon, she is an older lady who spends (it seems) every possible moment of her life talking. She talks to everyone in the office. She talks to herself. She talks to the medical charts she is working on. And so on. Also, she has no filter to know what to talk about and what NOT to talk about. Like the whole inseam-zipper problem mentioned in the post right below this one.

Aside

The third hen is still talking. Now she is talking about going to a fat farm and getting a personal trainer. I can only assume that this line of voiced thought is a tangent from how she would spend the money if she ever won the lottery and became a millionaire. I do not know if that is in fact how she got to that point, but for the sake of clarity of her self conversation, I hope so. Also, the Wonder Twins just walked back in, and their lips are also flapping to beat the band. Any minute now WW will pull up the local news on her computer, turn up the volume on the video part al lthe way so that we can ALL hear what is going on here in "Charm City", and by doing so will give The Hens conversation fodder for the rest of this glorious afternoon.

The Lurker - the only person here in Moleville I can truly trust. I trust her enough to let her read my blog. If the rest of the people down here read it, well, it would be UNPLEASANT to say the least.

Psycho - from the R U A Psycho link to the right. Another blogger, and the first official reader of this site besides family and friends. An excellent blog to read, and it is low fat and high fiber, so as to lower your cholesterol.

I think that just about covers it. If there are any I am forgetting, let me know and I will add them.

BSR - Big Shirtless Ron. The name of my blog and my own little shout-out to myself. It is like a good red wine. Jammy, yet unpretentious.