To Rosie O'Donnell - or, the dyke who cried "HATE":
Shut! Up! How the hell was what Kelly Ripa said the slightest bit homophobic?!? (Confused? See HERE)
It is actions and statements like that that cause actual cases of hatred and bigotry to be belittled or ignored. "I don't know where that hand has been"? How did you get that it was homophobic, especially since Clay Aiken has never claimed to be homosexual? Who are you to publicly out him? Who made you the arbiter of decency and the watchdog for the homosexual community? Who made you anything more than a loudmouth, annoying shrill lump of flesh who can't act (check THIS, THIS, and THIS if you need proof of her complete lack of ability)? For all of us, please, shut the hell up!
I would say she needs a man, but something tells me that it wouldn't do her much good. Wouldn't do much for the guy either.
To the punks who keep stealing condoms from Target:
I appreciate the desire to have safe sex. I practice it myself sometimes (and sometimes I even have a partner to practice it WITH me). But I do not condome your safe sex at the expense of my 401K, dammit!
To everyone who commented on my attire at work on Thursday:
Yes, I am a large man wearing the jersey of a large man. I get it. Let it go. If I really was Tony Siragusa, do you really think I would be working there? Seriously, get a grip.
To the Boob Thief:
Those. Are. Mine. If you are that desperate for a pillow, I will start a collection to get you one. But Wifey's God-given love pillows are not for you to drool on. I swear to all that I hold holy, if I EVER catch the scent of Similac on them, I am going to be VERY angry with you.
To Wifey:
Stop encouraging him.
To that bitch who works with Wifey:
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! Suck it bitch!
To the Ronnettes:
I am not feeling the love like I used to. You need to rectify that, and soon.
I'm waiting...
To HBO:
$80 for the Sopranos Season Six Part I? Who the hell are you kidding? I have two words for you all. Price. Point. Stop being so greedy. I already paid you once for the honor of watching the show, don't bend me over the cash register for the honor of being able to watch it again. Bada Bing, Bada Bite me.
To me:
Stop complaining so much. If you keep this up, you'll start to sound like Rosie O'Donnell.
BSR
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I like your use of "condome" instead of "condone". An apt renaming! though its usages outside of your sentence are somewhat limited.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I take your "SUCK IT BITCH!" and second the motion. All who agree say "Aye"!
Yes. Yes. "condome" was on purpose. It was. Truly. Thank you for noticing that inspired bit of wordplay.
ReplyDeleteThe only things I can say about Rosie without launching into a tirade about her are that:
ReplyDeletea)you're right about her
and
b)I hate that bitch...
that is all
Rosie O'Donnell? Not even a love of pop culture is enough to warrant exposure to the verbal diahrea spilling forth from her grill. If I want to listen to hypocrites I'll go to church, at least there we 'fess up and ask forgiveness for it (most of the time.)
ReplyDeleteI know I disappeared... but finals are over and I'm back now... I swear... really I am
ReplyDeleteHappy Christmass btw