Today's Mood Is...

I have to word this one carefully. Bullseye Inc. is VERY sensitive to the possibility of not-approved information being leaked into public. Add to that the inherent sensitivity of the fact that I have to respect the rights of criminals and victims, and you get to the tap dancing that has begun my post. But I am going to soldier on, and if I get fired, I expect all of you to donate heavily and regularly to my cause (that cause being the needs to pay mortgage and buy groceries and all that crap).

SO... we have a couple of different programs that we use to enter information about incidents that happen at the store, be they external or internal, cut and dried or ongoing investigations, so forth and so on. We can do searches on these programs. Usually you enter the store number that you are searching for and then give it whatever other parameters you want in order to get what you are looking for. 9 times out of 10, you are searching for your own store, or another in your group or district. Well, if you remove ALL store number information you can pull info for all the stores. ALL of them. Of course, if you don't REALLY narrow down your other parameters, the computer will tell you that there are too many records to display if you put all stores. Well, the other day I was eating my lunch / dinner (whatever the hell you want to call that break), and I was just scanning not approved reports for the entire company on a day by day basis. I find that reading through those makes my own report filing better (seeing other's mistakes and not repeating them). Just like reading through other stores incidents over any period of time shows what trends might be happening in the district, something that might otherwise escape notice. But I digress...

I am scanning through these reports, and I see one that catches my eye. I open it up to read the narrative, and THAT is where it gets weird...

**I need to make it clear now that what was occurring in the store was not funny. But the report WAS funny. At least to me. Make your own judgement**

There was a man in a store that I can safely say is at least one good day's drive away from where I live / work. This man was walking around the store, specifically in the men's clothing area. And it seems that he was walking about exposing himself. This was seen by an off-duty police officer, who alerted store security and also assisted in detaining this man once the authorities were notified and had arrived. By all accounts, the situation was handled quickly and professionally. Maybe that is why the report made me almost spit coffee all over the screen while gut laughing.

I understand the need to use technical and / or medical terms when discussing this kind of incident or entering a report about it. I also know that not everyone has the gift / ability to have a lot of words at their disposal. I know that a lot of people rely on Spellcheck in order to catch any mistake that might otherwise slip through. Yes, I know all that. But still, there are things that can get past Spellcheck, things that are spelled correctly if not used correctly. And that is what happened in this report. For you see...

The man was walking around men's clothing exposing his gentiles.

Now, that is not a DIRECT quote, in that I did not print it out nor did I memorize it. But on a number of occasions, the phrase "exposing his gentiles" was used (now the picture makes a little bit of sense, right?).

Usually we just get a description with height, weight, etc. This was MUCH more precise and detailed.

BSR