Today's Mood Is...

...with a side of...

Okay. It has been a hectic few weeks, and to make maters worse the fascist firewall / fun blocker here at work has been keeping me from posting for the last few weeks. But I found a loophole in their evOl blockage, and much like a man who ate too much cheese a week ago, I am feeling much less blocked NOW.

So it is "Employee Appreciation Day here at the hospital. This year there is / was a bake off (yes, employees bring in dishes to be judged by other employees. I love nepotism coated with chocolate ganache and topped with brown nosed bing cherry). Also, there is volleyball (apparently the basement is playing the winner of the Med/Surg Wing vs. TBI aka Traumatic Brain Injury - TBI is the wing that gets the most "Code Red"s, mainly when the guy who got knocked in the head and now thinks he is Elvis decides to light up a Marlboro Light in his room. Happens about 2 or 3 times per day). There are a few REAL rah rah types down here for the game. And to ice the cake of mediocrity there is karaoke ALL DAY! Yup, just in case you have ever wanted to hear Dr. Jonbonjovi (there is actually a Dr. somewhere in the hospital who's name is VERY similar to this, and because the receptionist lady has a hard time with names possessing more than 2 syllables it usually comes out something like this) belt out his version of the Act I closing number from "Rent" NOW IS YOUR CHANCE!!!!!

I will wait for those of you who feel the need to rush to the cafetorium to head out in a nice, orderly fashion.

Okay...

For those of you that are still here, other than that, things are pretty much status quo, which means FUBAR as usual. One piece of news, it turns out that I am finally going to meet my father-in-law next month (I don't know exactly when). He lives overseas, so this will be a first. It should be news-worthy, at least on here. I don't know if the Washington Post is gonna grab the story, but you should be able to hear the details right here).

Tomorrow looks to be a long day, and Saturday too. Some interesting things are happening this weekend and as soon as I can I will let you know what it is.

Have a bitchin' weekend my tiggas!

BSR

Today's Mood Is...

...with a side of blurgh.

Greatest. Video. Clip. EVAR.

Today's Mood Is...

I have mentioned in the past how I dislike when people use sex as an excuse. In this case I am referring to the water cooler and the fact that someone used the last of the bottle. The Hens started clucking about needing me to change the bottle, how they need that "big strong man" to help them. Any other time there would be a mix of "I Will Survive" and "I'm a Woman" playing from the ovarian soundtracks that teem in the underground jungle of office politics.

Now before I could get up and change the bottle, the Former Reader Known Formerly As The Lurker (who was standing over there) changed the bottle. Now WW is forced to start berating me for making a woman lift something heavy.

And in my mind I am choking her, ever so slightly.

After her tirade (about midway through it I detached myself from the conversation and said that I was just going to not speak for the rest of the day) she asked me what my problem was. Seeing how I am not speaking (but knowing that to say absolutely nothing would bring about something just short of the Cuban Missile Crisis) I said "nothing" and left it at that.

just 7 hours to go until the next job...

I think you forgot something...

There are certain things that I can understand forgetting and leaving in a cart.

(In case you are unsure, I am referring to Bullseye Inc. and last night's happenings)

I have seen people forget things that they bought and left on the bottom of the cart, like water or laundry detergent. I have seen things that have apparently fallen out of a bag that they didn't notice. I have seen bags forgotten, either in or under a cart, as well as left at the register. But there is one thing I have seen left behind more than a few times, and each time it makes me wonder.

How do you forget your cane?

Wouldn't the fact that you were suddenly keening to the left or right be a hint? Maybe the fact that you are falling over more often than someone on a tricycle in a sketch on Laugh-In?

I mean seriously, we are in the midst of remodeling the store, and we recently moved Guest Services (remember, at Bullseye Inc. you aren't just a customer, you're a guest). We had at least 8 canes that had been left behind and never claimed. We have added 2 more since. One of those was added last night.

When Wifey had surgery on her knee, I grabbed a cane for her from the collection to use when she was past crutches but not quite ready to go solo all the way. No one noticed that one of the canes was missing. They still haven't noticed.

I am going to move the outside cameras to cover more of the handicapped parking, so I can have video of old people falling down. It might be worth something someday.

My new favorite word

I know I have established my fervent love of America and all things American over all other places on Earth. However that does not mean that I cannot appreciate colloquial terms as used by different regions.

For instance, apparently in England, another euphemism for "breasts" is "norks".

I'll give you a second to let that sink in.

NORKS. You'll find it used in this article I got off of www.fark.com

BSR loves hisself some norks.

Today's Mood Is...

Sometimes it is beneficial to have a bladder on a schedule...

I am not one of those people that has a cell phone that they use for 500 different tasks. I am not even a fan of texting. I know, I know, I am sounding more than a bit like one of those "get off my lawn" kind of old people. But I just don't see the reason to have a phone that I can use to trade stocks while waiting out a red light. For me it would be superfluous.

One thing I do use my phone for besides calling is as my alarm clock. I got in the habit of it when I was living in my old apartment and available plugs were at a premium (my old apartment was a house turned into apartments, and there was only one dual socket outlet in the room that was designated as a bedroom). Since I had so few available outlets, I had to make do with what I had, and since my old cell phone had an alarm clock I metaphorically killed two birds with one technological stone. After time it became the habit, even after Wifey and I moved into the house that the bank is letting us live in while we pay them.

When I am at Bullseye Inc., I have to have my phone either turned off or on vibrate. I worked last night. Guess who forgot to turn their ringer back on before going to bed last night? If you guessed me, you made "The Right Call". So why am I not still in bed, blissfully unaware of the fact that I should have been at work well over an hour ago? Because I have trained my bladder to be the fail safe to my over-nocturninalization.

I bet that isn't a word. (added after done typing my post - it isn't. I just did spellcheck and they highlighted the ever-loving crap out of it. Of course, they have a problem with "Bullyseye", "dumbass", and "texting", so you have to take any corrections here with a grain of salt...)

I woke up about 10 minutes after my alarm went off (or to be more exact, 10 minutes after my phone randomly danced around my nightstand). It was one of those "I have to pee. Why is it so bright? What the hell time is it? OH CRAP! Why didn't my alarm go off?!?!? Oh wait, it did. I am such a dumbass. Oh MAN I had to pee"...

Due to my ability to get ready in a hurry when the need arises, I got to work about 5 minutes later than usual (not impressed? Well, if it wasn't for the fact that I got stuck behind an impromptu parade on North Avenue that had me going about 15 MPH from Howard Street until after Monroe Street I would have actually gotten here EARLIER than usual).

All thanks to my Pavlovian need to piss at the same time every damn morning.

BSR

I don't get it...

Sometimes Blogger will not recognize that I have tried to put some space in between my paragraphs. Sometimes it will. Today's mood is an example of when it won't.

Blogger is stoopid.


I put spaces in between these paragraphs, too. Let's see if it allows them for THIS post.

I don't think I mentioned this before...

I have received confirmation that we have our first official international reader here at BSR Inc.!!!!


I will (of course) give this person a nickname that has multiple meanings known only to me nd those I deem worthy of knowing the information. Our newly acknowledged (but apparently somewhat longtime lurking) reader will forevermore be known as...


The Rolling Stone

So I would like to take this opportunity to welcome the Rolling Stone.


Welcome.


Play nice.

Today's Mood Is...

COOKIES MOTHERFRAGGER! DO YOU HAVE THEM?!?!?!?!?!

OREOS FOR THE WIN BEEE-YOTCH!