Monday, August 04, 2008

The things that make you wonder

Now why on Earth would I be making THAT face? Well, I'll tell you...

My mother in law stayed with us for the weekend. No biggie, no worries. We have a couch and an inflatable mattress, so no one suffers. But still...

I woke up earlier than I planned this morning. The dog needed to go outside, and as I moved my body said "since you are already out of bed, you might as well hit the can yourself". And once you are within a certain length of time before you have to get up anyway (and your wife has spent the last hour or so being uncomfortable in bed and taking it out on your poor back as she thrashes about) you just get up and get ready for work. I don't have a set schedule here at the hospital, so as long as I get my 40 per all is good. So I can come in pretty much whenever.

Anyway, I get up this morning, have a lovely and completely coherent conversation with Wifey while she lays in bed and communicates with the ceiling tiles, then go upstairs in order to get myself to my car and on the way to work. It wasn't until I got to the foyer that I realized that something was amiss...

While I was performing my morning constitutional, as well as my morning bill of rights, I heard some strange noises coming from upstairs where M-I-L was sleeping. Since both her dog and our dog were out back being dogs, and the cat was standing in the doorway of the bathroom staring at me (I know she is plotting something, I just don't know WHAT yet. Mayhap she was trying to gauge my level of alertness in order to see if she should attempt another escape), and Wifey was talking to something about something, it had to be her. But by the time I was done in the bathroom and got the dogs back in the house and got dressed for work and made my way upstairs I had forgotten about the whole thing. UNTIL I got to the foyer. And that is when I saw it.

Two dustpans and a single kleenex. Laid out in almost a Stonehenge-worthy pattern in the doorway. Well, all I could do was move them so I could exit the house. But I don't know the final outcome of the breaking the dustpan crop circle. I have been in contact with Wifey today, and she says M-I-L is still asleep. So either she was dusting / sweeping in her sleep, or there will be an inter-dimensional vortex where my house used to be when I get home, and I will be responsible for allowing it by removing the blockade to the nether realms.

I really wish I had waited to mail my mortgage check until after I verified that I still have a house.


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