Free tickets that cost me $1100/poking the squeegee

Before delving into the muck that is my post today, I need to give a few "shout outs" (look who is down in the hizzy!)...

To the Ronettes - keep reading girls. You hold a special place in my heart, and the more you gush about me around Wifey, the more she has to think that someone else in this world might actually WANT me, so it tempers her otherwise usually justified anger.

To Wifey - 4 days until 1 year. You know, it seems like just yesterday you were yelling at me for something I forgot to do in planning for the wedding. Someday soon, it will be something I forgot to do for the kids. Sunrise, sunset...

To Fineous Reese - brother man, keep with the posting. You are finding gold in them thar hills.

To Psycho/Just Me - as you noted, we too are approaching a full year together. However, you don't put out, so Wifey is still the star of my world. Besides, I could never go by just an initial.

To anyone else who reads this site enough to have any idea what the hell I am talking about - how the hell are YE?

Okay, now to the issues at hand. First and foremost, yes it is true. On September 18th, Wifey and I will be celebrating our 1st Anniversary. 365 1/4 days of not living in sin. I would like to find out what the over/under was in the "How long until she kills him or leaves him" pool. I want to know if I still haev a chance of winning. And just in case Wifey is wondering, even though I didn't know the spread, I still took the over. THAT should definitely show my level of dedication to this relationship.

Last month, my good friend Starcrossed Scottish Lass (if you knew her history you would understand. For now, she will be known as Starcrossed) called me with free tickets to go see Jimmy Buffett at the Datsun Pavillion (as always, they don't pay, they don't get play. But if you know which car company changed their name from Datsun to their current moniker, you know where I mean. If not, look here). She had tickets for Wifey AND me, and all she asked is that I drive. Well I told her no problem. However, a problem did arise. The concert was during that stretch here in the middle of the Eastern Seaboard when the temperature was hovering in the mid 90's with nasty humidity. Getting to Datsun requires one to merge into a line with 20,000 other cars and wait an incredibly long time to get through a light at a major intersection, where the cars are bumper to bumper for miles on end. During this forced "Bridge over the River Kwai" style march, my car began to overheat. So during this stretch, I had to turn the heat on full blast in order to keep my engine from exploding. Well, apparently it did some damage to my radiator, which has gotten worse over the last month and a half, to the tune of a new radiator and new hoses and new coolant and the whole 9 yards. Total cost with labor (cough cough RIPOFF!!!!!) was $1099.00. Cheeseburger in Paradise my ASS! Son of a son of a BITCH! Mother mother FUCKER! (if you haven't seen Club Dread, do so before flaming me for those nasty words).

I bet shit like that doesn't happen to someone going to a Michael Buble concert. I bet there aren't even Michael Buble concerts. I need to get some lunch. My mind is going off the tracks a bit.

Now to poking the squeegee. While at job deux last Saturday, I ran into an old professor of mine. He was one of those professors who really helped me out in class and in life, and we have kept in semi-sporadic touch for the last (oh GOD I'm old) just shy of 10 years. For the last couple of years he has had me come into his comedy class and help thestudents, and it is something I have thoroughly enjoyed. So when I saw him walking about the Cd aisle, I went up to say hi. As we were talking, I went to point at something behind me. As I did, I flet my finger hit something, so I immediately turned to see what I might have done. I saw a man with a big squeegee in his cart, and I had accidentally poked it with my finger. I apologized, but the man was completely unconcerned about the non incident and kept moving. That is when I turned to the prof and told him "I just poked a man in the squeegee". It wasn't until I said it out loud that I realized the absolute bizareness of the statement. And now my overriding goal is how to work "I just poked a man in the Squeegee" into everyday conversation.

finally, Wifey is going in for some knee surgery on the 29th (2 weeks from tomorrow), so make sure you keep her spirits up hen you see her. I'll keep raising things at home.

HOO-AAAAHHHHH!

BSR