Two steps forward, two steps back

A good bit of time ago I brought up an issue of what I called "casual racism" regarding comments made to me by someone here at the hospital. Not my usual fare, but I felt like it needed to be addressed. Now I have another issue stuck in repeat mode in my head.

I was sitting in my cubicle (kind of like right now) surfing the internet instead of working (kind of like right now), when I heard some of the Hens along with a couple of surface dwellers (anyone NOT in the basement) talking about (among other things) the television show Nip/Tuck. They riffed off of that into another show (I believe it was Charmed) that had the same actor on both. One of the surface dwellers was commenting on how handsome one particular actor was.

Let me say right now that I don't have any kind of problem with that. It could be an issue, or maybe a double standard in another office, to talk about the attractiveness of someone (methinks that in this case, due to overcompensation to show sensitivity and avoid harassment suits, men commenting on the "hotness" of women is less accepted than women doing the same about men, at least in mixed company in the office. If any of you can say otherwise, please feel free to do so). Down here, as long as it is kept clean (no mention of "gazongas" or "sweater puppies" or the like), men can say that they think a woman is attractive and vice versa. But this wasn't the problem.

Here is where it went bad for me. The surface dweller than said that she was told by her mother not to date outside her race, but that she could imagine closing her eyes and pretending he was black (like her). And I couldn't help but think that if I had said the same thing there would be a firestorm of shit and meetings and sensitivity training up to and including termination.

Am I overreacting, or no? I wish I was, but I cannot help but think that if a white male says he was taught by his parents not to date outside his race he is going to be invited to appear on Jerry Springer, but a black woman saying it means that it is okay, and in fact, all the Hens stood there laughing at it.

I will add that I know the surface dweller who said it. I have talked to her and hung out with her here at the hospital on multiple occasions. We have eaten together, along with others who joined us for meals at the cafeteria. I have no problem with her and have never sensed any hint of prejudice from her. But now I am not so sure I want to hang out with her anymore. Because now I have that image in the back of my head and it will be tough to get it out.