Tuesday, April 24, 2007

PROTECTO!

I am currently on 3 different medications. All 3 of them (like all medications) have listed possible side effects. Luckily for me (and yes that was me being sarcastic), all 3 of the meds I am taking have a possible side effect of, to put it in a hopefully not-too-gross way...

Do you remember the side effects of Olestra? If you do, just imagine that all 3 mes are made of super concentrated Olestra. If you don't remember that wonderful invention, feel free to look it up or ask a friend (or look HERE)...

THAT is my current problem. So I have begun to notice things in places that I have been going for years but no longer have adequate reading material there with me with which to distract myself. For instance, here at the hospital, in the public stalls they have put seat protectors (or whatever the paper you are supposed to put on the seat so you can't get the herpers from the last guy who had to cop a squat. My understanding is that these things have been proven pretty much useless, but as long as people think they work, someone will provide them, even at the cost of a raise to needy and deserving employees. AHEM! Anyway...). For over 2 and 1/2 years I have been going into that bathroom whenever I needed to "recycle", and probably half of those visits required me to sit down and stay a while. Today, for the first time ever, while sitting and thumbing through the Sports Illustrated I have read 3 times already (if this issue is going to keep up, I am going to bring a book to work. A BIG one) I looked over at the wall mounted holder for these seat covers. Imprinted on the metal was one word...

PROTECTO

Which to me would be a really cool super hero or benevolent robot name. It could also be some bitchin' magic words like "Hocus Pocus" and stuff like that. It has all kinds of possibilities. Say it in that Hank Kingsley "Hercules" voice (if you go HERE and wait until 3:20 into the clip you will see what I mean) for the full effect.

I am not going to do any more posting today, so I leave you in the capable hands of...

PROTECTO!!!!!!!

Feel safe. Because you are safe.

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