Two days ago I debated turning on the A/C in the car on the drive from job A to job B. Today it was actually below freezing when I got in the car this morning. The prediction I saw for Easter Sunday is for the high to be below freezing. I am convinced that within ten years we will have 80 degrees on Christmas and snow on the 4th of July. It is going to happen.
So I am in what I believe is week 3 of the many headed Hydra that is hospital management. Yup, 3 bosses, no waiting. The whole thing has me so nonplussed that at this point I am just trying to outlast it. That, and sending out resumes like I am a non-profit organization doing a fund drive. Currently I am running a 433 page report (this is not the GOOD part of it being Good Friday, that is for sure). I started the report at 10:44:08 AM. Currently it is on page 284. It is 1:34:?? PM. Thank GOD they gave me this printer on my desk, you know the kind, it prints at approximately 1/5 the speed of your average office printer. I have to be at job B at 5 tonight. I am beginning to think that I won't even be close to making it.
Speaking of job B, I still have not been interviewed for the new position that I was told to apply for. I was told that it would be this week, but as of yet it hasn't happened. And since Easter weekend is the second busiest weekend of the year (just behind Black Friday, the start of Christmas Season), I am not expecting that they will want to pull me from the front doors tonight or tomorrow in order to ask me about a time that I faced adversity on the job and what I did to overcome it (and all the rest of the bullshit HR questions that you get asked at every interview. Who the hell thought these damn things up and are they burning in a special level of Hell as they should be? Right next to the guy who invented the pay toilet. THAT sumbitch BETTER be on fire right now). I can only hope that this position will pay enough for me to only work one job and that if it does that I get it.
I had a post in mind for earlier in the week, but I got very sidetracked by the jobs and generally just trying to play catch-up (it didn't work. I am still WAY behind here). Now it almost seems like I shouldn't post it, because of the aforementioned change in weather. However, I feel the need to put this on the public record, and so I shall.
And I quote (from my own fevered brain):
Springtime is finally here. Spring is the time of renewal and rebirth. Flowers bloom and baby animals are birthed (and occasionally eaten by their mothers. Viva la evolution!). All throughout the world you see the Circle of Life (used without express written consent of Walt Disney Inc. I am SO living on the edge) in action. And this brings me to what is probably my favorite thing about Spring.
(I would probably rate the rest of this as PG-13. I cannot see where it would be NSFW, but it is as racy as a conversation amongst 7th graders at the bus stop)
Yes, once again the titties are blooming. After being locked away under big bulky coats and heavy sweaters for months on end, the sun has warmed our little corner of the globe, and brought with it thin cotton tank tops and sports bras worn as outer accoutrement's. Over sized sweatshirts are replaced with tight t-shirts that expose just a bit of midriff (and am I the only guy who finds the combo of 3/4 shirt with the pants where they roll the waist over a couple of times, like how we used to cuff our pants that way that would make them tight against the ankles, so damn hot? It is almost as hot as when a woman is wearing a man's dress shirt and possibly nothing else. The dress shirt ALWAYS seems to come right down to about where a micro miniskirt would be. You can't tell if hey have on any underbritches, and they are wearing no socks or stockings and no shoes. Damn that is hot! Also, a quick reminder to Wifey. My birthday is in 3 days. I have dress shirts. It is either that or you locate a nurse/Catholic school girl (why is that so hot too? It seems wrong, but every guy I know goes apeshit over it)/Princess Leia in chains outfit. I hope you understand the severity of the situation here. Wow, this was a long sidebar, even for me). Yes, at Target it is time to set the titties free wherever you happen to look.
I need to make it clear that 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year, I love tittie. Specifically I love Wifey's titties. However, just as she can have mini vagi-quakes over the Supernatural boys or Mrs. Fields chocolate chip cookies (she says it was because she had been sick and had not had chocolate for a long time. I think she is a cookie lesbian), I can spend time that I am getting paid to stand and watch people to see if they could be member of the Future Felons Club checking out the Tittie Parade. And since we are the centrally located and closest Target for Towson University, Loyola College, Goucher College, Morgan State and Coppin State we usually have quite the smorgasbord of visual stimulants. Whatever you are into, odds are if you stand at the door for 15 minutes you will be able to see it. So I am calling myself out as a "looking but not touching" club member, with all ancillary rights and privileges.
By the way, if any of you have a nice soft comfy couch that I can sleep on, I might be visiting you soon. Like 5 minutes after Wifey reads this. I am an excellent cook.
So yes, I am going to Target tonight, and once again it will be parkas and cable knits. That is okay. Some flowers bloom with the first thaw, then die with the re-freeze. But they always come back again when the next thaw hits. And sooner or later, the thaw sticks.
I was making a point earlier about my love of tittie all the time. Why then would now be special? Let me explain it this way. Every year when the new version of Madden comes out there will be people camping out to make sure they get their copy, and calling in sick to work the next day so that they can spend all day playing it. After a few months, the shelves are re-stocked, and while it is a good seller and still an awesome game, it isn't impossible to find. Titties are like Madden. They have been away from us for a long time. Sure we might have a copy in the house, and if given the chance we would play it EVERY day (and I mean that honey. EVERY DAY. You just say when). Very few of us have more than one copy to play (and those are the guys who get to write those letters to Penthouse). But every year, even if you don't have a game system, you get to see the newest game unveiled. And even though the changes are only cosmetic (there is a metaphor there I think), you still cannot wait to see it.
2:20:?? PM. Page 368. I am going to start crying soon.
So anyway, I am going to wrap this up. I hope you enjoy the above video. Happy Easter everybody, and I hope everyone who reads this got the invite to my big berfday party next Friday night. If you didn't and you read this and you aren't a big doody-faced jerk, come on by!
I guess you would also have to know where I live or have some way other than a blog's comment page to contact me. If not, well, I still like you and all, but not in that way. That "come in my house and stand near my stuff unattended" kind of way. You understand, right?
BSR
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