Today's Mood Is...

One of the outcomes of the big meetings from last week was a renewed focus on phone answering, both the time it takes to get someone to answer and how one answers said call.  Many here had gotten into the habit of answering the phone with "Billing Office".  That's it.  Just "Billing Office".  No greeting, no name, no nothing.  Well that is no longer acceptable.  Now you have to say "Good Morning (or afternoon if it is past 12) this is the Business Office, ___________ speaking.  How may I help you?".  Which should have been par for the course and a given, as far as I am concerned. 

As far as the picking up the phone with more expediency, well they prefer the phone never rings more than once.  That is an impossibility, and they understand that.  It is a goal, but it isn't a disciplinary action if the phone rings twice.  If it rings 4 or 5 times and EVERYONE in the bullpen is not already on the phone heads will roll.  So this morning, when the phone rang, I answered it.

"Good morning this is the Business Office, BSR (names have been changed to protect the "innocent") speaking.  How may I help you"

"You have the wrong number"

Before I continue the transcription, I need to make sure you understand that was the first thing out of the mouth of the person on the other end of the phone call.  The one that they dialed into my office.  I ANSWERED the phone.  I did not make an outgoing call, I responded to THEIR outgoing call, which became an inbound call when my phone rang. 

"Excuse me?"

"You have the wrong number"

"You called me, how could I have the wrong number?"

"You called me"

"No ma'am, you called into my office.  Do you have a question regarding a bill that I can help you with?"

...and so forth.  This went on for a minute or two, then I got tired of talking to this MENSA candidate and told her to have a nice day.  And then I hung up on her.

The thing that gets me is the "we have the wrong number" part.  The only way I can figure it out is that she has the ability to see that the number we have (and we have a bunch of numbers, since we have multiple employees with their own direct line as well as two "main" phone lines AND an 800 number) was meant to be for someone else, or maybe the number was built on an ancient Indian burial ground or some such thing.  That being the case, I am going to stop answering it, because I do not want the Poltergeist "get out" crowd fuxing with my mojo.

Goonie Goo Goo.

BSR