Friday, August 18, 2006

I am completely burnt out

Because I have been up for over 24 straight hours. I have a meeting in about an hour and a half, and I came in in pretty much right after I left Target last night. I did go home long enough to do some dishes...

Anyway, I was going to post some pics from the Maine trip this past April (I like to pace myself on these things), but either my computer is being difficult, blogger is being difficult, or my brain is being difficult. Whatever, there will be no pic posting today.

Instead, I am going to post something that I have had in an old email folder for years...

FLASHBACK FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Top 18 Amish Horror Movies

18. "Barnraiser"
17. "I Know What You Did With the Summer Sausage"
16. "Mennonite's Mare by an Elm Tree"
15. "Natural Barn Killers"
14. "Rosemary's Buggy"
13. "It Came from The Sharper Image"
12. "The Devil Wore Plaid"
11. "The Hand That Churns the Butter"
10. "Look Out! The Pictures Move!!"
9. "Riding in Cars with Anyone"
8. "The Day the Outsiders Found the Generator"
7. "The Shunning"
6. "The Bare Wrist Project (Oops! That's an Amish *porn* movie.)"
5. "The Pennsylvania Handsaw Massacre"
4. "Planet of the Drapes"
3. "Holler "M" for Murder"
2. "Night of the Leavened Bread"

and the Number 1 Amish Horror Movie...
1. "Invasion of the Bonnet Snatchers


Mr. T a haiku by Ryan Graff.
Wearing my gold chains
Driving in my custom van
I am Mr. T.

Untitled a haiku by Gordon Grant.
Treat your mother right
Don't do drugs and drink your milk
Or you a sucka.

Damn, That Mr. T is Helluva Tough! a haiku by BenPritchard.
Superman knew it
David Nimmo knew it too
Mr. T is tough.

School'n a Fool a haiku by Robert Ligon.
Dat sucka Murdock
with crazy jibba-jabba
Gonna teach the fool

Untitled a haiku by Aaron Palmer.
A fear of flying
Will not stop this man mountain
So we spike his milk.

Whoopin' a haiku by Drew Thornton
Rocky think he tough
He juss a greasy white boy
I pity the fool

Untitled pair by Ben Karjalainen
you mind yo mamma
dial 1-800-collect
or I bust yo ass

sad sad rocky Balboa
aint no italian stallion
make him eat my cereal


And a quick note. Wifey (at the behest of the gaggle of gigglers at her place of employment) said to me that "I put all our business up here". It seems there was some consternation in regards to the Kitty is a pervert/Wifey might be an incubator post. Well, that is part of the fun of my brain and how it works. If she wants to dispute anything I say, well, she can post to her blog (which is looking MIGHTY sparse, if'n I do say so myself).

And now something that I just heard that I want to repeat (I will not divulge the source of this material. It is just me and the guys who wrote Game of Shadows as bastions of our rights as journalists, keepers of the flames of integrity (FARTFARTFART! Betcha Woodward and Bernstein never wrote THAT in an article!).

"Wearing only a pair of panties and a smile"

THAT oughts brighten your Friday morning!


  1. I about died reading your "Amish Horror Movies."

    Here's some more that I found:

    Kiss the Girls... and Burn in Hell, You Sinner

    Children of the Barn

    A Touch of Weevil

    Attack of the Real World

    Outhouse on Haunted Hill

    Outhouse on Haunted Hill

    Little Shop of Electronics

  2. "Wearing only a pair of panties and a smile"?

    so there i was...inverted...