I have my first enemy (or at least, the first person that I am going to have to start making snarky, pithy comments about here in regards to the new and improved interactive Office Space). I tried to find a picture that I thought would do her justice, but there was not anything that struck my fancy. So instead, I have decided to name her in a way that invokes the best of Dick Tracy's Rogue's Gallery...
...I am convinced that her left eye is in the right socket and the right eye is in the left socket. It is scary, especially since her profile just shows a slightly larger and pointier than normal nose. But once she is facing you...
Anyway, she is officially on the list because she has some traits from some of my favorite people to bitch about from Kernan. To wit...
- Likes to say "Smuckers" in lieu of saying "shit", reminicent of Asian Mustard Lady's "Sugar Honey Iced Tea"
- Has that annoying habit of liking to talk a lot (not nearly as much as Jabberjaws, but still it is an annoying habit to have. And to top it off she likes to play the local "Jack" station and sing along.
- And to make it that much better, she has an accent straight from the Bel-Loc Diner by way of Middle River, and her voice is on the nasally side to boot (of course, after seeing that nose and the way her entire face is being sucked towards it like it has some extra gravitational pull - maybe there is a Large Hadron Collider in her nasal cavity? - and her tone is not surprising)
There are other things that I am sure are going to come out in the wash, like her prediliction towards wearing those top / bottom combos that kind of look like pajamas, with the thin, not quite sweatpant material for the pants and the top is usually kind of gaudy (today is kind of subdues, gray bottoms and gray with white polka dots for the top). Also, she doesn't understand a basic concept of fast food (or retail in general). If you choose a value meal (or some kind of value pack), you cannot use a coupon for a free sandwich, unless you are buying an additional sandwich. It is already discounted, you don't get ANOTHER discount.
I have always been annoyed when peoplpe cannot grasp that simple concept.
I gotta go grab some lunch. Be back later (or tomorrow, hopefully)