There are certain things that you like to hear coming from the lips of the love of your life. When the love of your life is lying in bed, naked, there is a different list of things that you might want to hear. But no matter what it is, I can pretty much guarantee that there is one thing that you DO NOT want to hear coming from the lips of the love of your life...
Mommy?
Now, to be fair, it was early this morning while I was getting dressed for work, and Wifey was still sleeping. And it was dark (I turn on the light in the utility room in order to have enough light to see but not so that it is so bright that it wakes / bothers her). And it is a good possibility that she had been having a dream that involved her mother and was still 77% asleep while she started to mumblespeak. But that doesn't make it any less creepy when it happens.
I really wasn't sure how to respond to that, so the first time she said it I just stood there (having frozen in my spot when asked the question). I hoped that it would be a one time deal and then she would go back to sleep and I could continue on with my preparations. But the second time she said it, with a good bit more fervor...
I was THIS close (my fingers are about 1/2 millimeter apart right now) to getting my best early morning falsetto going and answering her, just to see what would happen. But since I was afraid that I would blow my vocal cords first thing in the morning, I instead lowered my voice to my best James Earl Jones level and said "Nope". At that point Wifey decided to end the conversation herself and rolled over.
I got dressed, made my liter of coffee and left. But for the first time in a long time, I wasn't doing any yawning on the way to work. Being mistaken for a small, older black woman can do that for a thirty-something white guy. It wakes you up pretty well, at least the first time that it happens...
BSR
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